“I did not myself know what I wanted: I feared life, desired to escape from it, yet still hoped something of it.”
Source: A Confession
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Leo Tolstoy 456
Russian writer 1828–1910Related quotes
“There'd been no escape. What did she so desire to escape from?”
Source: The Crying of Lot 49 (1966), Chapter 1
Context: There'd been no escape. What did she so desire to escape from? Such a captive maiden, having plenty of time to think, soon realizes that her tower, its height and architecture, are like her ego only incidental: and what really keeps her where she is is magic, anonymous and malignant, visited upon her from outside and for no reason at all. Having no apparatus except gut fear and female cunning to examine this formless magic, to understand how it works, how to measure its field strength, count its lines of force, she may fall back on superstition, or take up a useful hobby like embroidery, or go mad, or marry a disc jockey. If the tower is everywhere and the knight of deliverance no proof against its magic, what else?

VI. Metuit. The physician is afraid
Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions (1624)

The Tragic Sense of Life (1913), VI : In the Depths of the Abyss

Interview with Gazzetta dello Sport, 16 Feb. 2006 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11385083/
“I know writing is what I do but I still don't see myself as one.”
Small talk: Dermot Healy, 2011