“Listen, child—if you’re at a party with a hundred people and one of them is the devil, he’ll be the last one you’d suspect.”

“For tens, and perhaps hundreds, of thousands of years, people regarded language as a holy instrument that let them look out upon the world… Only in the last few decades have people suspected that their window on the world has a glass that gives a distorted view.”

“You’re not a one hundred dollar bill, not everyone is going to like you.”

“The world runs,” Lowell said, “on the fuel of this endless, fathomless misery. People know it, but they don’t mind what they don’t see. Make them look and they mind, but you’re the one they hate, because you’re the one that made them look.”

“Remember, Nick, there are only two people in the universe I care for…and you’re not one of them. (Savitar)”

“Having a play directed by someone else is like going to a religious school when you’re a child, you listen and obey…”

“A child's education should begin at least one hundred years before he was born.”

“And I don’t want his body touching something I wear. He’ll contaminate it. (Sasha)
Oh, good grief, Sasha. Grow up. You’re four hundred years old and you’re acting like a whelp. It’s not like he has cooties or anything. (Astrid)
Yes he does! (Sasha)”

“You’re one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It’s a great gift.”

“Like children, they’re bored by complicated things. More than bored: they feel threatened. Give a child mashed potatoes and butter, and he’s happy. He doesn’t want to try the rich sauce with capers, in fact he’ll cry if he’s forced to taste it. You see what I mean?
But, listen, Joseph. A child is easy to control. Keep him happy, and he’ll believe what he’s told to believe.”