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Groucho Marx 117
American comedian 1890–1977Related quotes

"Wanda June"
Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1970)
Context: Hello, I am Wanda June. Today was going to be my birthday, but I was hit by an ice-cream truck before I could have my party. I am dead now. I am in Heaven. That is why my parents did not pick up my cake at the bakery. I am not mad at the ice-cream truck driver, even though he was drunk when he hit me. It didn't hurt much. It wasn't even as bad as the sting of a bumblebee. I am really happy here! It's so much fun. I'm glad the driver was drunk. If he hadn't been, I might not have gone to Heaven for years and years and years. I would have had to go to high school first, and then beauty college. I would have had to get married and have babies and everything. Now I can just play and play and play. Any time I want any pink cotton candy I can have some. Everybody up here is happy — the animals and the dead soldiers and people who went to the electric chair and everything. They're all glad for whatever sent them here. Nobody is mad. We're all too busy playing shuffleboard. So if you think of killing somebody, don't worry about it. Just go ahead and do it. Whoever you do it to should kiss you for doing it. The soldiers up here just love the shrapnel and the tanks and the bayonets and the dum dums that let them play shuffleboard all the time — and drink beer.

press conference, Blue House, Seoul, South Korea, quoted in * 2019-06-30
Trump: Kim and I "have a certain chemistry"
CNN
https://edition.cnn.com/politics/live-news/trump-dmz-kim-live-intl-hnk/h_8b23e071903b007d8ff1934be8457d2c
2010s, 2019, June
“Ayame: Hello, Tori-san!! You're not going to believe what Yuki just told me!”
Source: Fruits Basket, Vol. 8

She has no mouth.
From Her Tours and CDs, Revolution Tour

“Hello. I'm hello, and I'd like to say myself.”

Song lyrics, The Sensual World (1989)