“You know, I would date if I could find a man worth shaving my legs for. But most are such a waste of time that I’d rather sit at home and watch reruns of Hee Haw.”

“It's not a date. I bought my own drink and I didn't shave my legs.”

“Nearly unlimited supernatural power, and all you do is use it to watch reruns. What a waste.”

“The Wonder of it All:
Sitting there in your pajamas & all the time in the world & if I could keep any moment it would be this: watching you & holding my breath with the wonder of it all.”

“You…you need to move on,” I managed. Yes, that was a sound reason. “You need to find someone else. You know I don’t—that I can’t. Well, you know. You’re wasting your time with me.”

He remained firm. “It’s my time to waste.”

“Okay, Barrons, it's time."
"I am not helping you shave your legs." he said instantly.
"Oh please. As if I'd let you.”

“I’ve never believed in doing sequels. I didn’t want to waste the time I have doing a sequel; I’d rather be using that time doing something new and different ”

“I envy people who have the capacity to sit with another human being and find them endlessly interesting, I would rather watch TV. Of course this becomes eventually known to the other person.”

“On some rare occasions I do go to cinema theatres abroad. But if you really ask me I would rather watch a film on DVD all alone in the dark environs of my car or my home.”

“I hate dates. I sit at home all day, and I don't fart once. I go on a date and I've got twenty in the bank straight away.”