“I did deranged quite well, when the occasion called for it.”

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American husband-and-wife novelist duo

Ilona Andrews American husband-and-wife novelist duo

Source: Magic Burns

“You’re called a holy man,” she said. “I see you’re wholly deranged.”

Gene Wolfe (1931–2019) American science fiction and fantasy writer

Source: Fiction, The Book of the New Sun (1980–1983), The Urth of the New Sun (1987), Chapter 36, "The Citadel Again" (p. 255)

“There were a couple of occasions when it was passed around – and, unlike President Clinton, I did inhale!.”

Brian Cowen (1960) Irish politician

Hot Press interview with Brian Cowen, 23 May 2007
2007

“I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.”

Miguel de Cervantes (1547–1616) Spanish novelist, poet, and playwright

Source: Don Quixote de la Mancha (1605–1615), Part II (1615), Book III, Ch. 33.

“Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?”

James Thurber (1894–1961) American cartoonist, author, journalist, playwright

Cartoon caption, The New Yorker (5 June 1937); "Word Dance--Part One", A Thurber Carnival (1960)
Cartoon captions
Source: Collecting Himself: James Thurber On Writing And Writers, Humor And Himself

“On a highway in a moving automobile. I wasn't driving. It worked out quite well, but I don't know how it did. I was young and stupid.”

Charisma Carpenter (1970) actress

"The Dirty Dozen: Charisma Carpenter" http://www.playboy.com/sex/d12/charismacarpenter/02.html, Playboy.com, p. 2 (accessed 2006-04-30) <br class="br">When asked what was the strangest place she had sex.