„people who say its a long story, mean it's a stupid short one that they are too embarrassed and couldn't be bothered to tell“

Source: Love, Rosie

Last update June 3, 2021. History
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Cecelia Ahern156
Irish novelist 1981

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„Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones.“

—  Benjamin Disraeli British Conservative politician, writer, aristocrat and Prime Minister 1804 - 1881

Upon being asked to offer the young son of a member of Parliament advice, cited in Wilfrid Meynell, Benjamin Disraeli: An Unconventional Biography (1903), p. 83.
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„Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.“

—  Henry David Thoreau 1817-1862 American poet, essayist, naturalist, and abolitionist 1817 - 1862

Letter to Harrison Blake (16 November 1857)
Context: Let me suggest a theme for you: to state to yourself precisely and completely what that walk over the mountains amounted to for you, — returning to this essay again and again, until you are satisfied that all that was important in your experience is in it. Give this good reason to yourself for having gone over the mountains, for mankind is ever going over a mountain. Don't suppose that you can tell it precisely the first dozen times you try, but at 'em again, especially when, after a sufficient pause, you suspect that you are touching the heart or summit of the matter, reiterate your blows there, and account for the mountain to yourself. Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.

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„I'm bothered by the fact that stupid people don't spontaneously combust, which they should.“

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„Life is too short, and Proust is too long.“

—  Anatole France French writer 1844 - 1924

Apparently an invention by Maurice Sachs; see discussion in Quotes about Proust.
Misattributed

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„The years are too short, the days are too long.“

—  Joseph Heller, book Something Happened

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„Time Is…
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is Eternity.“

—  Henry Van Dyke American diplomat 1852 - 1933

Time Is
Undated
Source: Time Is...
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is Eternity. (Music and Other Poems, 1904)

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„Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.“

—  Jay Leno American comedian, actor, writer, producer, voice actor and television host 1950

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„Stories are as unique as the people who tell them, and the best stories are those in which the ending is a surprise.“

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„Stories only happen to people who can tell them.“

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Variant: Know something, sugar? Stories only happen to people who can tell them.

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