“people who say its a long story, mean it's a stupid short one that they are too embarrassed and couldn't be bothered to tell”
Source: Love, Rosie
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Cecelia Ahern 156
Irish novelist 1981Related quotes

“I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell anyone. As long as I didn't say it aloud, it wasn't real.”
Source: Dreamland (2000)

On discussing his past escapades with his girlfriend.
Rolling Stone interview (2003)

“Be amusing: never tell unkind stories; above all, never tell long ones.”
Upon being asked to offer the young son of a member of Parliament advice, cited in Wilfrid Meynell, Benjamin Disraeli: An Unconventional Biography (1903), p. 83.
Sourced but undated

“Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.”
Letter to Harrison Blake (16 November 1857)
Context: Let me suggest a theme for you: to state to yourself precisely and completely what that walk over the mountains amounted to for you, — returning to this essay again and again, until you are satisfied that all that was important in your experience is in it. Give this good reason to yourself for having gone over the mountains, for mankind is ever going over a mountain. Don't suppose that you can tell it precisely the first dozen times you try, but at 'em again, especially when, after a sufficient pause, you suspect that you are touching the heart or summit of the matter, reiterate your blows there, and account for the mountain to yourself. Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.

“I'm bothered by the fact that stupid people don't spontaneously combust, which they should.”
Re: A draft business plan for free software LISP vendors http://groups.google.com/group/comp.lang.lisp/msg/3bb9094cbc310a0f (Usenet article).
Usenet articles, Miscellaneous