“Note to self: It's hard to attain a state of no-mind when you're incredibly pumped up on tea and sugar and have to urinate every three and a half minutes.”

“When I think of the people who have been there, and the people I grew up admiring - the likes of Muhammad Ali, Rocky Marciano, Sugar Ray Robinson, Sugar Ray Leonard… it's just incredible that I'm in the same sort of club.”

“You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces.”

“My heart pumping 70 times a minute every minute my whole life. What a task! To reach any age in those terms sounds miraculous!”

“[from a skit about airports] You know you're in trouble when at the control tower, there's a note taped to the door that says "Back in five minutes."”

“… like us? Counting up the minutes -- have we spent half an hour together?”

“I meet a person, and in my mind I'm saying three minutes; I give you three minutes to show me the spark.”

“Socialists try to convince us that the tea becomes sweet not because of sugar, but because of mixing.”

“Every age must look for its sanction to its poetry and philosophy, for in these the human mind, as it looks backward or forward, attains to an eternal state.”

“What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?”