“The time for crying with your girlfriends about a broken heart is over chocolate ice cream
and chick flicks—not stun guns and bulletproof vests.”

“There are moments in life that the white-chocolate Magnum ice cream was invented for, and this is one of them.”

“You can't start a fire, sitting 'round crying over a broken heart.
This gun's for hire,
Even if we're just dancing in the dark.
You can't start a fire, worrying about your little world falling apart.
This gun's for hire,
Even if we're just dancing in the dark.”

“A good night sleep, or a ten minute bawl, or a pint of chocolate ice cream, or all three together, is good medicine.”

“If you've got to my age, you've probably had your heart broken many times. So it's not that difficult to unpack a bit of grief from some little corner of your heart and cry over it.”

“Every American may have equal access to ice cream, but there's no guarantee that the outcome of eating ice cream will be equal.”

“Number of empty Ben & Jerry's containers: 3 -- two mint chocolate cookie, one plain vanilla. (Who buys plain vanilla ice cream from Ben & Jerry's, anyway? Is there a greater waste?)”

“Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
Eddie DeChooch”

“The happy-go-lucky barefoot kid who loved rugby, ice-cream-and-hot-chocolate sauce, staying at home for a braai and the flieks grew up into an international rubgy player, idol of millions and South African cult figure…”

“My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate — that's my philosophy.”