“My life [is] a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I’m actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.”

—  Jon Stewart

College of William & Mary Commencement Address (2004)

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American political satirist, writer, television host, actor… 1962

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