“"Forgive and forget" goes the expression, and for our idealized magnanimous selves, that was all you needed. But for our actual selves the relationship between those two actions wasn’t so straightforward. In most cases we had to forget a little bit before we could forgive; when we no longer experienced the pain as fresh, the insult was easier to forgive, which in turn made it less memorable, and so on.”

— Ted Chiang

"The Truth of Fact, the Truth of Feeling" http://subterraneanpress.com/magazine/fall_2013/the_truth_of_fact_the_truth_of_feeling_by_ted_chiang, Subterranean Press Magazine, Fall 2013

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

Help us to complete the source, original and additional information

Do you have more details about the quote ""Forgive and forget" goes the expression, and for our idealized magnanimous selves, that was all you needed. But for ou…" by Ted Chiang?

Ted Chiang 11

American science fiction writer 1967

Related quotes

“I understand that you are claiming it is almost impossible to forgive, but only easier to forget. The truth is that, you can only forgive that which you have forced your mind to forget. We must forget first, then forgiveness will come by itself.”

Mwanandeke Kindembo (1996) Congolese author

“We are quick to forgive and forget about the past, or our memories when we find the present satisfying.”

Mwanandeke Kindembo (1996) Congolese author

“Certainly one can never forget, if that means erasing totally for his mind. But when we forgive, we forget in the sense that the evil deed is no longer a mental block impeding a new relationship.”

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929–1968) American clergyman, activist, and leader in the American Civil Rights Movement

1950s, Loving Your Enemies (Christmas 1957)
Context: Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what has been done or putting a false label on an evil act. It means, rather, that the evil act no longer remains as a barrier to the relationship. Forgiveness is a catalyst creating the atmosphere necessary for a fresh start and a new beginning. It is the lifting of a burden or the canceling of a debt. The words "I will forgive you, but never forget what you have done" never explain the real nature of forgiveness. Certainly one can never forget, if that means erasing totally for his mind. But when we forgive, we forget in the sense that the evil deed is no longer a mental block impeding a new relationship. Likewise, we can never say, "I will forgive you, but I won't have anything further to do with you." Forgiveness means reconciliation, a coming together again. Without this, no man can ever love his enemies. The degree to which we are able to forgive determines the degree to which we are able to love our enemies.

“But really, the term “forgive and forget” doesn’t make sense to me. Forgiving does allow us to stop dwelling on an issue, which isn’t always healthy. But if we forget, we don’t learn from our mistakes. And that can be deadly.”

Meg Cabot (1967) Novelist

Source: Abandon

“We can forgive, but we cannot forget. That quote is mine. Those that forget their past are sentenced not to have a future.”

Jair Bolsonaro (1955) Brazilian president elect

About the Holocaust, at a meeting with evangelical pastors in Rio de Janeiro, on 11 April 2019. Bolsonaro: Brazil will vote ‘in line’ with Israel, US at UN Human Rights Council https://www.timesofisrael.com/bolsonaro-brazil-will-vote-in-line-with-israel-us-at-un-human-rights-council/. The Times of Israel (14 April 2019).

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”

Thomas Szasz (1920–2012) Hungarian psychiatrist

"Personal Conduct" http://books.google.com/books?id=IYOcAQAAQBAJ&q=%22The+stupid+neither+forgive+nor+forget+the+na%C3%AFve+forgive+and+forget+the+wise+forgive+but+do+not+forget%22&pg=PA177#v=onepage, p. 51. http://openlibrary.org/works/OL15151528W/The_Second_Sin
The Second Sin (1973)