“I'm not conflicted. Because I know. There's me, and there's the show.”

“I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.”

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”

“She said, "I'll show you a picture,
A picture of tomorrow,
There's nothing changing, it's all sorrow."

"Oh, no, please don't show me
I'm a swine, you don't wanna know me!"”

“I’m grandiose. Because I live a grandiose life. I’m not 'aw shucks' … because I'm gnarly. (The Howard Stern Show)”

“As far as the, you know, potential conflict of interests, though, I mean I know that from the standpoint, the law is totally on my side, meaning, the president can't have a conflict of interest. That's been reported very widely. Despite that, I don't want there to be a conflict of interest anyway. And the laws, the president can't. And I understand why the president can't have a conflict of interest now because everything a president does in some ways is like a conflict of interest.”

“I'm showing an interest in your work. I thought you liked me showing an interest in your work. My showing. Save the gerund and screw the whale.”

“Good. Show me a man who thinks that he knows what 'good' is, and I will probably be able to show you a horror of a person. Show me a person who really knows what 'good' is, and I will show you that he almost never uses the word.”

“I'd love to show you Wormnet, but I'm not gonna risk it, because Wormnet shows your IP address!”

“I'll go backstage, before a show, and everyone's getting dressed and ready and everything else. And you know, no men are anywhere. And I'm allowed to go in because I'm the owner of the pageant and therefore I'm inspecting it. You know I'm inspecting, I want to make sure everything is good, the dresses, "Is everyone OK?", you know they're standing there with no clothes, "Is everybody OK?", and you see these incredible-looking women, and so I sort of get away with things like that.”