“Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.”

“So let that be a lesson, kids who get an F in math. Ellen says you’re doing the right thing. You’re welcome, parents.”

“I hate it when I go out and I see parents going, 'don't do that', or 'stop doing that' when some kid's just hanging off a staircase or something. There's too much of this, 'don't do that.”

“Parents might believe themselves to be the bosses, but in the end it was the kids who made the rules.”

“Those kids aren't dumb. But the people who run these schools want to make sure they don't get smart: they are really teaching the kids to be slaves.”

“A kid might help another kid who fell into a river, and a kid might help another kid search for a lost baseball, but there isn't a kid I've met who will help another kid out of a humiliating situation. We just aren't built that way.”

“I don't love kids. I hate their predators. It's a burning hatred I feel to this day.”

“Kids don’t do what their parents say-they do what they see their parents do. So who was to blame here?”

“I pity parents who feel comfortable to feed a thousand chicken but can't feed two kids because one isn't theirs”

“I still wanna know who to sue to get my store fixed. (Bubba)
I’m a turnip. Sue the rich kid who started it. (Nick)”