Woody Allen: Cytaty po angielsku

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”

“To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.”

“Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”

“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.”

“It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.”

“I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.”

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”

“I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.”

“Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”

“You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.”

“I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.”

“I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.”

“Death is a state of non-being. That which is not, does not exist. Therefore death does not exist. Only truth exists. Truth and beauty. Each is interchangeable, but are aspects of themselves. Er, what specifically did they say they had in mind for me?”

“Harry: (On being called a self-hating Jew) Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.”

“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

“Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.”

“God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”