“There is a big difference between feeling shame and being shamed… The feeling we call shame is a natural biological affective reaction that is occurring when we fear social consequence. To shame someone is to use the natural biological affective reaction of shame as a tool for manipulating and controlling someone to suit your own interests.”
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Teal Swan 226
American spiritual teacher 1984Related quotes
“We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.”
Source: I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame
Stanley Kunitz (trans.) Story Under Full Sail (New York: Doubleday, 1974) p. 20.
Source: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Source: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
“There is no shame in not knowing something. The shame is in not being willing to learn.”
Source: The Naming
“Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself.”
As quoted in Why Men Fall Out of Love : The Secrets They Don't Tell (2005) by Michael French, p. 142
Disputed
“Truth is the daughter of time, and I feel no shame in being her midwife.”
Temporis filia veritas; cui me obstetricari non pudet.
As quoted in The Ismailis in the Middle Ages: A History of Survival, A search for Salvation (2007) by Shafique N. Virani, p. 28
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on both of us.”
Source: On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft