“I mean, girlfriends are trouble at this age.”

Source: Jeanne Calment: From Van Gogh's Time to Ours : 122 Extraordinary Years, 1998, p. 48: response to the question whether the birth of her daughter was the happiest time of her life

Source: Company Manners: A Cultural Inquiry into American Life (1954), p. 26.

My Twisted World (2014), 19-22, UC Santa Barbara, Inceldom

1988
Inside Edition
Television, clip aired on * Mario News Report
CollegeHumor
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1712418
2011-12-20
on the video game Super Mario Bros.

Eclogae 2, line 10; translation from Hugh Gerard Evelyn White Ausonius ([1919-21] 1951) vol. 1, p. 165.

The Almost Perfect State (1921)
Context: Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle aged person has likely learned how to have a little fun in spite of his troubles.
It is to old age that we look for reimbursement, the most of us. And most of us look in vain. For the most of us have been wrenched and racked, in one way or another, until old age is the most trying time of all.
In the Almost Perfect State every person shall have at least ten years before he dies of easy, carefree, happy living... things will be so arranged economically that this will be possible for each individual.

One-liners

Attributed in The Wit and Wisdom of Alfredo Di Stéfano Kindle Location 194, this is actually a quote of José Manuel Moreno, as quoted in "Training, sweating and learning" by Marcela Mora y Araujo, in The Guardian (10 June 2008) http://www.theguardian.com/football/2008/jun/10/distefano.
Misattributed