“A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."”

— Rodney Dangerfield

Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 15

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Rodney Dangerfield 54

American actor and comedian 1921–2004

Thuy Trang (1973–2001) Vietnamese actress (1973-2001)

Power Rangers Unlimited: Thuy Trang Interview https://myriahac.tripod.com/id8.html (December 24, 1994)

“You've always had me… and my heart. My soul. Everything. I wish it hadn't taken this long for me to man up.”

Jessica Bird (1969) U.S. novelist

Source: Lover at Last

“I tried out that Buckethead guy. I met with him and asked him to work with me but only if he got rid of the fucking bucket. So I came back a bit later and he's wearing this green fucking Martian's-hat thing. I said, 'Look, just be yourself!' He told me his name was Brian, so I said that's what I'd call him. He says, 'No one calls me Brian except my mother.' So I said, 'Pretend I'm your mum then!' I haven't even got out of the room and I'm already playing fucking mind games with the guy. What happens if one day he's gone and there's a note saying, 'I've been beamed up?”

Ozzy Osbourne (1948) English heavy metal vocalist and songwriter

[Laughs] Don't get me wrong, he's a great player. He plays like a motherfucker!
Revolver interview; as quoted in "Ozzy Osbourne "Says Ex-GUNS N' ROSES Guitarist Buckethead Auditioned For His Solo Band" http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/ozzy-osbourne-says-ex-guns-n-roses-guitarist-buckethead-auditioned-for-his-solo-band/, Blabbermouth.net, January 5, 2005

“This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard?”

Greg Giraldo (1965–2010) American comedian

Just For Laughs

“It is much like a rich man, who takes a man from the market and feeds him and gives him gold and silver and all desirables every day. And each day he showers him with more gifts than the day before. Finally the rich man asks: Do tell me, have your wishes all been fulfilled? And the man from the market replies, not yet, for how pleasant and wonderful it would be if all those possessions and precious things came to me through my own work as they came to you, and I would not be receiving the charity of your hand. The rich man told him then: In this case, there has never been born a person who could satisfy your wishes.”

Yehuda Ashlag (1886–1954) Orthodox Jewish Rabbi and Kabbalist

Assorted Themes, On Shame with regard to Receiving

“I am not insane," he said. "A woman of your highly advanced intellect ought to be able to perceive that I am in love. With you. I wish you had told me. It was deuced embarrassing to find it out from your *brother*.”

Loretta Chase (1949) American writer

Source: Mr. Impossible

“"4 example the other day i saw a black person walking down the street and i was like "omg a negro" but instead of walking on the other side i said "what would rumsfeld do?" so i stayed on the sidewalk. when he came up to me i wanted to show him that i have no problems with people of color so i said "hey" and offered him my spare change before he could even ask."”

Maddox (1978) American internet writer

i love donald rumsfeld http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=af_racist
The Best Page in the Universe, April Fools

“I have encouraged him. I said to him after he told me that Hun Sen told him he wished him to be the next King…When I die, please replace me. Never continue to be Prime Minister, even the only Prime Minister. It will be good for you to be King because as King it will be easier to have a clean reputation.”

Norodom Ranariddh (1944) Cambodian politician

by Norodom Sihanouk in 1996
[Jason Barber, http://www.phnompenhpost.com/national/royal-trumps-table-aces-sleeve, Royal trumps on the table, aces up the sleeve, 22 March 1996, 29 August 2015, Phnom Penh Post]

“He told me in a private situation, when I wasn’t working as a journalist. I was sat in the bedroom some years ago, and I asked him point blank, ‘look Lance, the way I talked you up on television, I would have to back off and resign if you one day went positive’. And he looked at me and he said ‘man I’ve seen death in the face and I don’t take drugs.’ And that’s all he said. I have no reason to disbelieve him.”

Phil Liggett (1943) sports journalist, commentator

Liggett on Armstrong: The whole investigation was a waste of money http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/liggett-on-armstrong-the-whole-investigation-was-a-waste-of-money (2 February 2015)

“Erlking,” I told her. “Big-time bad guy. Wants to eat me.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Well. I met him,” I said.”

Jim Butcher Proven Guilty

Source: Proven Guilty

“A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."”

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Rodney Dangerfield 54

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