“So between you and me," I tell Justine on the phone that night, "we're either bitchy or stupid."
"Oh God," she moans. "Everyone thinks I'm an idiot."
"Thanks!”

“I know, I'm an idiot!" Leo moaned. "A brilliant idiot, but still an idiot.”

“She's online with her friends, and little boys are starting to call the house. Oh, my God, we had a kid call the house at two in the morning. Oh, I lost it. 'Cause first of all, I'm off in La-la land with Shania Twain in the mountains somewhere. I hear a phone ring and I'm like "Who's got a phone in the mountains??" So when I realize it's my phone, I'm already a little miffed, so I go, "Hello!" And this little voice says "Uh... is Emily there?" And I go, "Dude, if you have a brain in your skull, you will hang this phone up right now!" Click. Then my wife turns to me and goes, "Bill, you've got to be nice."”

“Yes, we're lazy. Yet we also can't seem to sit still. So we've started making things like GO-GURT. That's yogurt for people on the go. Let me ask you, was there a big mobility problem with yogurt before? How time-consuming was it, really? [pretending to be on the phone:] "Hello?…Oh, hi, Tom…oh, I've been dying to see that movie…Umm, no…I just opened up some yogurt…Yeah, I'm in for the night…No, not even later-it's the kind with fruit on the bottom. Well, have fun. Thanks anyway."”

“I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid”

“Thank you… I deserve that. I'm really good. I'm one of the best. Actually, I'm the best, currently ranked number one in the world. So buckle up. You guys are in for a treat. Oh, 19,000 people, This is awesome. Thank you. Seriously, don't look around. It's 19,000. People watching on tv, they never know. They're so stupid. That's why they watch tv.”

“That night, at God knows what hour, Bill phoned me up and shouted, I told him, and put the phone down.”

“Some day I'm gonna call me up on the phone, so when I answer, I can tell myself to shut up.”

“I'm like everyone else in this stupid, bloody, amazing world. I'm flawed. Impossibly so. But hopeful. I'm still me.”

“I believe you, Sadie."
"Oh really. I'm holding the bloody feather of truth, and you believe me. Well, thanks.”