“High School is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just plain useless.”

“How can you smell this good after the kind of crappy day we've had?"
"I sweat perfume. Like all girls.”

“You were born at a pretty crappy time in history. And it looks like things are only gonna get worse from here on out.”

“Looks like I’m going to ruin your day, Big Boy. I choose to live my crappy life a little longer. (Susan)”

“You bought me some forks. And knives. And spoons. Because you love me!”

“The higher my GPA gets the more I realize high school is useless”

“I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?”

“I was digging with a fork out of the kitchen drawer, sewing tictacs, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. After a bit I got bored and just started burying cheap spoons to baffle the archaeologists of the future. [On gardening]”

“Prison is like high school with knives.”

“Creative children do not paint. They mess around. If they have to draw, creative children always end up being the ridiculous kind of child, who produces childern′s drawings Creative children wipe spinach round their gobs, that′s all. Any thing more that these crappy daubnings is the result of education-and before long we′re on a level with Paul Klee.”