“Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
Episode 1, 1:36”

“On homosexuals- They're more up for a bit more experimentation an' that -Podcast Series 1 Episode 2”

“Service of the Synagogue: Day of Atonement, Part 1 Evening Service; pub. Routledge & Kegan Paul Ltd., p. 38.”

“Service of the Synagogue: Day of Atonement, Part 1 Evening Service; pub. Routledge & Kegan Paul Ltd., pp.73-4”

“Three blokes go into a pub. Well, I say three; could be four or five. Could be nine or ten, doesn't matter. Could have been fifteen, twenty - fifty. Round it up. Hundred. Let's go mad, eh - two-fifty. Tell you what, double it up - five hundred. Thousand! Oh, I've gone mad! Two thousand! Five thousand! (adopting auctioneer persona) Anyone? Five thousand, six thou, six thousand, ten thousand! Small town in Hertfordshire goes into a pub! Fifteen thousand blokes! Alright, let's go - population of Rotterdam. The Hague. Whole of Northern Holland. Mainland U. K. Let's go all the way to the top - Europe, alright? Whole of Europe goes - I say Europe. Could be Eurasia. Not the band, obviously, that's just two of them. Alright, continents - North America! Plus South America! Plus Antartica - that's just eight blokes in a weather station. Not a good example. Alright, make it a lot simpler, all the blokes on the planet go into the pub, right? And the first bloke goes up to the bar and he says "I'll get these in."”

“Success is a journey not a destination. The doing is usually more important than the outcome. Not everyone can be Number 1.”

“Our No. 1 enemy is ignorance. And I believe that is the No. 1 enemy for everyone — it's not understanding what actually is going on in the world.”

“Interviewer: How long do your parents usually let you stay up?
Rachel: I probably get home at 1:00 (am) and I go to bed at 1:30. [shrugs] I don't know.
Tina: She's usually in bed at-
Rachel: 1?
Tina: 1.
Interviewer: 1 am? [laughing]
Tina: [laughing] 1 am. She's performing. She's-
Rachel: Maybe on a school night, I go to bed at 10! Maybe.
Tina: Yeah. Maybe. When you went to public school. Now she does homeschool, so she doesn't go to bed until 1.”

“You didn't like it when you got a B in your French exam. You're not gonna like it now, because you've got the big F – you're fired! (firing Nicholas de Lacy-Brown in episode 1).”

“Now the pitch, and it's lined foul into the seats, down the third base line, 1 ball, 1 strike, and I'll tell you what's going on. The crowd is chanting "U-S-A!" and the reason for that is that there are reports circulating, I'm not sure if they yet been confirmed by the White House, that Osama bin Laden is dead. How that's happened, we don't know, but this crowd now knows it.”