“Hi I'm Bunny the Lifeguard and if any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle 'em to the ground and probably have my way with them.”

— Chris Pontius

Jackass: The Movie

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Chris Pontius 27

American actor 1974

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“If I'm in, you know, especially in a poor area, and I see guys walking like they're thugs down the street, I don't care what color they are, I go "That guy looks like they're a thug, and looks like they're tough, okay… If they try to shake me down I'm gonna ignore them and keep walking, and if they come up to me and try to put a hand on me, I'm gonna punch 'em right in the throat. 'Cause I don't wanna jump on top on of 'em and hurt my knees and stuff, when I slam their head in the ground. Plus, I don't wanna kill 'em. 'Cause then I'd have to go to jail and stuff, and they'd have to find that it was done in self defense. Been down that road." So, I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, "Alright. I'm gonna punch this guy in the throat." I'm thinking how hard am I gonna punch him. And I'm not thinking he's a black guy. I'm thinking the guy's walking like a thug, thinks they're tough, and I'm thinking about how I'm going to defend myself. Just like when I've been at the Coast, a few years ago, and walk out of a restaurant in South Padre and they're having a biker rally—and it wasn't like a nice biker rally, most rallies are nice people—it was like thug wannabes, rode up with a motorcycle…and were looking at me, and I was thinking "Okay. Alright. That guy is taking his helmet off. I'm gonna punch him in the throat the minute he tries to get up and do something, and then I'm gonna assault those next three guys. Then they'll probably pull a weapon. I need to take that." I mean, that's what I'm thinking whenever something like that is going on. I can't help it. I'm thinking, "Alright, I'm ready to kill." That's just how I am. And I'm thinking, "Alright. Okay. Instantly assess these guys. These are probably ex-con, real criminals. I've got my three kids here. That gives me, you know, just turbo dinosaur power. And I'm thinking, "Control yourself. Don't have a fight, unless you absolutely got to."”

Alex Jones (1974) American radio host, author, conspiracy theorist and filmmaker

You know, the man in me is ready to take all on! and... you know what I'm talking about, don't you? ARGH, you scum! I hate gang members and filth! And it has nothing to do with black people. But I will stump your head in if you start a fight with me, you thug scum! Anyways, excuse me ladies and gentlemen.
"Alex Jones Self-Defense Rant" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIMJ_pxy2eU, July 2013.
2013

“I'm so darn glad he let me try it again,
'Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin,
I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then,
Gonna keep on trying until I reach my highest ground.”

Stevie Wonder (1950) American musician

Higher Ground
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“I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.”

Woody Allen (1935) American screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, author, playwright, and musician

Hannah and Her Sisters (1986).

“I refuse to be beaten in any way shape or form, so I'm gonna beat this too.”

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“You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)”

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“We have dealt with all these idealists in the past, I’m sure we’ll find a way to deal with them today… Rid our world of all these fanatics one by one, won’t let not prophet lover ruin my fun. We’ll string ‘em up and shoot ‘em down.”

Dawud Wharnsby (1972) Canadian musician

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“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.
Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”

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“I'm not better than anyone, and I'm not trying to convince people to live by my standards of what's right. I'm trying to convince them to live by their own.”

Jonathan Safran Foer book Eating Animals

Source: Eating Animals (2009)
Context: People care about animals. I believe that. They just don't want to know or to pay. A fourth of all chickens have stress fractures. It's wrong. They're packed body to body, and can't escape their waste, and never see the sun. Their nails grow around the bars of their cages. It's wrong. They feel their slaughters. It's wrong, and people know it's wrong. They don't have to be convinced. They just have to act differently. I'm not better than anyone, and I'm not trying to convince people to live by my standards of what's right. I'm trying to convince them to live by their own.

“People say I'm foolish
People say I'm blinded by faith
But if I run out of air
If I crash I don't care
I'm gonna do it my way”

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“Now there's no *beeping* way in hell I'm gonna go over because I'm a little afraid of animals.”

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From "The Diary of Billy Talent":

“Hi I'm Bunny the Lifeguard and if any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle 'em to the ground and probably have my way with them.”

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Chris Pontius 27

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