“I'm a much happier guy than a lot of people think I am.”

“I'm so much happier now that people seem to find better things to ask me about than all my "accomplishments" from when I was a little girl. I feel like that was so long ago, and so irrelevant to who I am now, that I am glad the focus isn't really on that as much any more.”

“I think I'm happier with that. $rubyometer += 0.3 or so.”

“For some reason, I'm the guy people love to hate, which I think is weird. People who know me find that very strange, but for some reason, I am. I don't mind being that guy - I have fun with it.”

“If I didn’t think, I’d be much happier.”

“I'm frustrated by what I hear. Maybe it's not meant for me. Personally, I'm way too bright for a lot of the hip-hop lyrics to affect. I'm much too smart to think that jewelry or how cool I am is really going to change much about my personality. If you're dumb enough that it entertains you, have a great time. But I am seeking more than that.”

“I would never do anything to harm the country or anything improper. I think most people who have dealt with me think I'm a pretty straight sort of guy, and I am.”

“I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.”

“Old pictures look very rugged and young, and the people in the photographs always seem a lot happier than you are.”

“I think I'm healthier than I've ever been. I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm more myself. I can't stress that enough," Ellen says. "I think kindness is the key to yourself and to other people. … I think I found out who I was, and I think I really try to be a better person every single day. And she [sc. Portia de Rossi, her wife] makes me better.”