“I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.”

— Louis C.K.

Chewed Up

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Louis C.K. 53

American comedian and actor 1967

Charles Portis book True Grit

Source: True Grit (1968), Chapter 7, p. 178 : exchange between 'Lucky Ned Pepper' and 'Mattie Ross'

“I’m a huge book fanatic, and I shoot. I’m very comfortable around guns. I’ve been shooting since I was 9. I usually shoot a.22 Magnum, but I prefer a shotgun because the feeling is incredible.”

Alyson Michalka (1989) American actress and singer

An interview, Pinstripe Magazine, February 7, 2011. http://www.pinstripemag.com/2011/02/alyson-michalka-complex-magazine-interview.html.

“I don't care if I fall as long as someone else picks up my gun and keeps on shooting.”

Ernesto Che Guevara (1928–1967) Argentine Marxist revolutionary

Variant: I don't care if I fall as long as someone else picks up my gun and keeps on shooting.

“I don't have any children, but if I had a baby, I would have to name it so I'd buy a baby naming book. Or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.”

Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005) American stand-up comedian

Mitch All Together (2003)

“Bill and his brother-in-law had shot a deer and drove it in to get processed. At a rest stop, a woman stops at the truck
Woman: Did y'all shoot this deer?!
Bill's Brother-in-law: No, ma'am, we did not shoot this deer. It was the saddest thing. We were just driving down the road, the deer got into the back of our truck at a stop sign, handed us a note and then shot himself! Here's your sign.”

Bill Engvall (1957) American comedian and actor

15 Degrees Off Cool (2007)
Here's Your Sign

“I don't have a big mouth, you know what I have, I have a mouth that tells the truth.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

2021, September 2021
Source: "Trump says he has 'a mouth that tells the truth' while making false statements at Georgia rally" https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-says-has-mouth-tells-truth-while-lying-georgia-rally-2021-9?r=US&IR=T, Insider, 26 September 2021
Context: They want to go after me because I have, they think, a big mouth.