“My mother won't drive 50 miles an hour. You put her in a rental car, she's doing doughnuts in the grocery store parking lot!”

“Did I hurt you in the parking lot?"
"No, m'lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car."
Great.”

“Every time my brain parks the car neatly in the driveway, my mouth drives through the back of the garage.”

“I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.”

“Do you work at the grocery store? Then why are you checking me out?”

“There are a lot of ways to mispronounce my name. That is the least common […] I checked with my mother. In 50 years no one's ever called her "Elsie Fag."”

“If the car drives in the wrong direction better fuel won't help.”

“I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.”

“What Dad means by "see" of course, is "drive past at 67 miles per hour." Dad feels it is a foolish waste of valuable vacation time to get out of the car and actually go look at an attraction.”

“They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go to what is called “work” in a box, where they sit in their cubicle box; they drive to the grocery store in a box to buy food in a box; they talk about thinking “outside the box”; and when they die they are put in a box.”