“I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.”

“This pen's all I have of.”

“My pen.’ Funny, I wrote that without noticing. ‘The torch’, ‘the paper’, but ‘my pen’. That shows what writing means to me, I guess. My pen is a pipe from my heart to the paper. It’s about the most important thing I own.”

“I am a galley slave to pen and ink.”

“I have always had more dread of a pen, a bottle of ink, and a sheet of paper than of a sword or pistol.”

“I sometimes think it is because they are so bad at expressing themselves verbally that writers take to pen and paper in the first place”

“I write jokes for a living, I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.”

“I win because I learned years ago that scared money always loses. I never care, so I win.”

“This is where I begin to do the writing. I am now going to be the pen and not the paper.”

“Dignitary wounds cannot always be healed with the stroke of a pen.”