“Were you watching me sleep? Because I thought we agreed that's creepy.”

“No kid really wants a cool parent. "Cool" parents, when I was a kid, meant parents who let you smoke weed in the house – or allowed boyfriends to sleep over with their daughters. That would make Sarah Palin “cool.” But, as I remember, we thought those parents were kind of creepy. They were useful, sure, but what was wrong with them that they found us so entertaining? Didn’t they have their own friends?”

“You asked me who I thought I was before. I said maybe I was a fish because I love water and you said, you thought a mermaid, maybe.
If you were a mermaid, you said, if you were a mermaid, I was the sea.”

“We were watching Barrons.
Why were you watching Barrons?
Barrons needs watching.”

“I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.”

“The fans were asking me "was I watching?". Of course I was watching.”

“This was always the problem with my mother and me, I suddenly realized. There were so many things we thought we agreed on, but anythign can have two meanings. Like sides of a coin, it just matters how it falls.”

“I didn't realize we were being watched. We were all being watched”

“I thought being invisible would be great. Then I started thinking about it. It would be a bit creepy standing around and watching people. Don't you think? Then I thought a power that allowed you to light fires would be handy. I would be dangerous if you couldn't handle it, but I always have trouble at home finding matches to light candles. So if I could just walk around and light the candles with my finger, that would be kind of cool.”

“We are all individuals. I can’t eat for you and you can’t eat for me. I can’t sleep for you and you can sleep for me. We are absolutely all individuals. When our purpose is fulfilled, it feels beautiful. That is, to me, the feeling of fulfillment.”