“Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.”

“I vowed to myself if I ever go to one of these award shows I'm gonna wear some kind of a bird. So I went to the Grammys last years I had a dress made out of peacock feathers. And I didn't win a Grammy, was named worst dressed. And that's impressive, because if you win a Grammy you had to just beat out what, three, four people? But if you're worst dressed you beat fifteen thousand people! I beat Mary J. Blige! I beat Lil' Kim!”

“You beat the liver out of a goose to get a pâté; you pound the muscles of a man's cardia to get a philosopher.”

“The worth of things can't be measured by what they cost but by what the cost you to get it, that if anything costs you your faith or your family, then the price is too high, and that there are some things that will never wear out.”

“You really get to meet people on such a personal level. There's a real bonding in someone beating the crap out of you.”

“There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.”

“Shopping is actually very similar to farming a field. You can't keep buying the same thing, you have to have a bit of variety. Otherwise you get bored and stop enjoying yourself.”

“You see, most people with multiple personalities get therapy. I get my own HBO comedy series!”

“Honest to god, Clare, you act like the dress is more important than you being shot!”
Of course it is! It’s a Versace, you idiot! Bring help! I’m going to save this dress at all costs.” - Sam to Clare”

“I may be only a "fish and chip shop lady", but some of these economists need to get their heads out of the textbooks and get a job in the real world. I would not even let one of them handle my grocery shopping.”