“If you're going to lick the icing off somebody else's cake you won't be nourished and it won't do you any good, or you might find the cake had caraway seeds and you hate them.”

“Where is the cake? Cake is the language of love. I don't see any cakes in the building. You know, people say that to you: "I love you, I love you!"”

“I’m the frosting on America’s cake, and tonight I’m willing to let you lick the bowl.”

“But of course you can have your cake and eat it, too - if you decide to to bake a second cake. And you may well find that baking two cakes does not take twice the work of baking one.”

“Alan, you seem to think we won't like you unless you do things just like everyone else. Have you ever thought we might like you because you're different?”

“Do what you want to do,
And go where you're going to.
Think for yourself
'Cause I won't be there with you.”

“If you don't know where you're going, you won't go anywhere.”

“If you're waiting to have good ideas before you have any ideas, you won't have many ideas.”

“Good breeding doesn't mean that you won't spill sauce on the tablecloth, but that you won't notice when someone else does.”

“You see mama don't watch your damn football
And your beer drinkin' just won't do
You're just stayin' out late
And you're preachin' the hate
And you never have been trueYou see mama she want her somebody
Who will let her be herself
So she's leavin' you
And your stinky damn ways
Cause she's found somebody else”