“unbeingdead isn't beingalive”

“Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all if it hasnt been whipped with whips, just like poached eggs isn't poached eggs unless it's been stolen in the dead of the night.”

“God isn't dead — he's just missing in action.”

“Isn't it so weird how the number of dead people is increasing even though the Earth stays the same size, so that one day there isn't going to be room to bury anyone anymore?”

“I'm not dead yet, just in a state of rapid decay, who isn't?”

“There are a lot of things in this world to be afraid of, but a dead body isn't one of them.”

“But I don't feel sad about it. Because Mother is dead. And because Mr. Shears isn't around anymore. So I would be feeling sad about something that isn't real and doesn't exist. And that would be stupid.”

“See, heroes never die. John Wayne isn't dead, Elvis isn't dead. Otherwise you don't have a hero. You can't kill a hero. That's why I never let him get older.”

“Swear to me swear to me that if it isn't dead you'll all come back.”

“This isn't about guilt or innocence, he says. The dinosaurs weren't morally good or bad, but they're all dead.”