“They get up early, because they have so much to do, and go to bed early, because they have so little to think about.”

“Dear, don't think of getting out of bed yet. I've always suspected that early rising in early life makes one nervous.”

“I do know that girls in their early twenties are easy and sweet. (Girls in their late twenties are easier but sad, and that isn't so sweet.) They are easy, I think, because they are sweet, and they are sweet, I think, because they are dumb.”

“6080. Early to go to Bed, and early to rise,
Will make a Man Healthy, Wealthy and Wise.”

“I think it’s more like a shirt that says, ‘I’m going to have to end this date early so I can go prepare my Power Point presentation”

“Why do old men wake so early? Is it to have one longer day?”

“The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays.”

“That’s all I think about these days. Must be because I have so much time to kill every day. When you don’t have anything to do, your thoughts get really, really far out-so far out
you can’t follow them all the way to the end.”

“Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise”

“In the end one is no longer sure which is the greatest evildoer, the man who gets up early or the man who goes to bed late.”