“There are four basic food groups: plain chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate.”

“White Chocolate. Intense, sweet. But not deep. Okay for prom dates or flings, but not to get serious.. Milk chocolates are guys you could date for like a few months, and dark chocolates are for love.”

“Get it in ya! Chocolate milk, bitch!”

“Come to the Dark Side.
We have chocolate.”

“God isn't chocolate, he's the encounter between chocolate and the palate capable of appreciating it.”

“New Orleans was a chocolate city before Katrina. It is going to be a chocolate city after. How is that divisive?”

“the chocolate raisins tasted somewhat fishy, but Lucy didn't care-chocolate was chocolate. She changed her mind however, when she realized that the raisins were tiny fish heads.”

“The Kit-Kat candy bar has the name 'Kit-Kat' imprinted into the chocolate… That robs you of chocolate! That is a clever chocolate saving technique. I go down to the factory "You owe me some letters!"”

“The first bowl of chocolate pudding was too hot, but Goldilocks ate it all anyway because, hey, it's chocolate pudding, right?”

“The calories in chocolate don't count because chocolate comes from the cocoa bean, and everyone knows that beans are good for you.”