Woody Allen citations

Page 5

“Le sexe est la chose la plus amusante que vous puissiez avoir sans même rire.”

“La confiance est ce que vous avez avant de comprendre le problème, et après l'avoir résolu.”

“Huit pour cent du succès se manifeste.”

“Si vous n'échouez pas de temps en temps, c'est un signe que vous ne faites rien de ouf”

“Dieu est silencieux. Maintenant, si seulement l'homme se taisait. Pour devenir dieu?”

“Faire son chemin dans la vie n'est pas simple et tout ce qui peut marcher sans nuire à autrui est une bonne chose”

“[…] si j'étais un homme d'État grec, je ne ferais jamais confiance aux Troyens. As-tu remarqué qu'ils ne prennent jamais de vacances?”

“Je suis ouvert d'esprit sur le sexe je ne suis pas irréprochable. Pour tout dire, je suis au delà des reproches, de que je veux dire. Si j'étais pris demain dans une partouze avec douze petites-filles, les gens penseraient, oui, j'ai toujours su ça de lui. Rien de ce que je pourrais dévoiler ne surprendrait qui que ce soit … Je reconnais tout.”

“Non seulement la vie est horrible, mais en plus elle est courte.”

“Du côté positif, mourir est une des rares choses que l'on puisse faire aussi bien couché que debout.”

“Selon moi, le cinéma a eu deux artistes fondamentaux : Orson Welles et Stanley Kubrick.”

“Non seulement Dieu n'existe pas, mais essayez d'avoir un plombier pendant le week-end!”

“Je ne connais pas la question, mais le sexe est définitivement la réponse.
Une obsession je crois”

“I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.”

“Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.”

“Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.”

“Raised by two mothers… wow, most of us barely survive one”

“I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.”

“Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.”

“I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.”

“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”

“As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree"— probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”

“While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.”

“I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.”

“How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.”

“How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?”

“Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.”

“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”

“Harry: The most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you" but "it's benign."”

“Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.”

“My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.”

“She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.”

“Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.”

“I believe people ought to mate for life… like pigeons or Catholics.”

“You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.”

“You can't ride two horses with one behind.”

“[…] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.”

“I failed to make the chess team because of my height.”

“Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.”

“I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom… and a moth ate my sports jacket.
He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.”

“The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.”

“All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates.”