Tom Waits citations

“I don't have a drinking problem ‘cept when I can't get a drink.”

“I don't go to church on Sunday, don't get on my knees to pray, or memorize the books of the Bible, I got my own special way”

“It's very hard to stop doing things you're used to doing. You almost have to dismantle yourself and scatter it all around and then put a blindfold on and put it back together so that you avoid old habits.”

“I'm so goddamn horny, the crack of dawn better be careful around me!”

“I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.”

“Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk.”

“The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering. It cheapens and degrades the human experience, when it should inspire and elevate.”

“You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.”

“They say that I have no hits and that I'm difficult to work with. And they say that like it's a bad thing.”

“The beginning of it starts at the end”

“when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans”

“It's kind of like borrowing the same ten bucks from somebody over and over again.”

“Well I got a bad liver and broken heart,
yeah, I drunk me a river since you
tore me apart”

“Well, it's either kiss me or kill me, that's how I see it.”

“T’ain’t no sin to take off your skin, and dance around in your bones.”

“Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.”

“A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.”

“and the earth died screaming, while I lay dreaming…”

“Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well.”

“Oh, I'm not a percussionist, I just like to hit things.”

“the earth is not my home, I'm just passing by”

“I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas.”

“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

“The piano has been drinking, not me.”

“All that you've loved is all you own”

“I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys, and my pride.”

“I've been riding on the crest of a slump lately.”

“And the things you can’t remember tell the things you can forget, that history puts a saint in every dream.”

“Oh I don't mind going to weddings, just as long as it's not my own…”