Ellen DeGeneres citations

Page 2

“One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.”

“When life gives you lemons…. they could really be oranges.”

“So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.”

“The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.”

“Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.'

Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.”

“Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
One time in high school.
Three times in my twenties.
Rocks no salt.
Yes.
Four.
Never. And how dare you!
I will take no further questions.”

“Haiku sounds like I'm
Saying hi to someone named
Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.”

“Baloney is just salami with an inferiority complex.”

“You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.”

“If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.”

“It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.”

“Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.”

“If we don't want to define ourselves by things as superficial as our appearances, we're stuck with the revolting alternative of being judged by our actions, by what we do.”

“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.”

“Haters are my motivators”

“Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.”

“I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.”

“Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.”

“I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.”

“I prefer to believe that people are good and honest and respect me enough to tell me the truth. It's not easy to find those people all the time, but they're out there.”

“It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.”

“Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.”

“When I look back on the stuff I used to wear, I wonder why somebody didn't try to stop me. Just a friendly warning, "You may regret this," would have been fine.”

“The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes.”

“I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.”

“Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.”

“Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.”

“I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from… you heterosexuals.”

“I think there's too much mult-tasking going on. I think people need to quiet down and focus and be still more.”