Woody Allen: Trending quotes (page 7)

“I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.”

“Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.”

“Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.”

“Raised by two mothers… wow, most of us barely survive one”

“I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.”

“Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.”

“I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.”

“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”

“As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree"— probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”

“While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.”

“I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.”

“How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.”

“How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?”

“Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.”

“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”

“Harry: The most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you" but "it's benign."”

“Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.”

“My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.”

“She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.”