Woody Allen: Trending quotes

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Woody Allen: 458 quotes31 likes

“I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.”

Woody Allen

Variant: I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

“Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.”

Woody Allen

Source: Annie Hall: Screenplay

“Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.”

Woody Allen

Source: Unknown Book 7074565

“Raised by two mothers… wow, most of us barely survive one”

Woody Allen

“I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.”

Woody Allen

“Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.”

Woody Allen

“I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.”

Woody Allen

Source: Love and Death

“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”

Woody Allen book Side Effects

"The UFO Menace".
Side Effects (1980)

“As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree"— probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”

Woody Allen Without Feathers

"The Early Essays".
Without Feathers (1975)

“While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.”

Woody Allen

“I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.”

Woody Allen

Love and Death (1975)

“How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.”

Woody Allen Without Feathers

Source: Without Feathers

“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”

Woody Allen

Variant: There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

“Harry: The most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you" but "it's benign."”

Woody Allen

Deconstructing Harry (1997)

“She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.”

Woody Allen book Getting Even

Source: Getting Even