Woody Allen: Trending quotes

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”

“Harry: (On being called a self-hating Jew) Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.”

“Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.”

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”

“To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.”

“Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”

“It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.”

“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.”

“I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.”

“You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.”

“Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”

“I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.”

“I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.”

“I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.”

“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”

“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

“Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.”