Woody Allen: Trending quotes (page 11)

“Cookie: What are you sad about?Harry: I'm spiritually bankrupt. I'm empty.Cookie: What do you mean?Harry: I'm frightened. I got no soul, you know what I mean? Let me put it this way: when I was younger it was less scary waiting for Lefty than it is waiting for Godot.Cookie: You lost me!Harry: You know that the universe is coming apart? You know about that? You know what a black hole is?Cookie: Yeah. That's how I make my living.”

Woody Allen

Deconstructing Harry (1997)

Sadness , Way , Soul , Universe

“This is my perspective and has always been my perspective on life: I have a very grim, pessimistic view of it. I always have, since I was a little boy. It hasn’t gotten worse with age or anything. I do feel that it’s a grim, painful, nightmarish, meaningless experience, and that the only way that you can be happy is if you tell yourself some lies and deceive yourself.”

Woody Allen

Press conference for You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger at the Cannes Film Festival (2011) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yVPS8XBoBE&feature=related.

Life , Pain , Age , Way

“And so I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Actually, make that "I run through the valley of the shadow of death" - in order to get OUT of the valley of the shadow of death more quickly, you see.”

Woody Allen

Love and Death (1975)

Death

“Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.”

Woody Allen

Hannah and Her Sisters (1986).

Love

“I took a course in speed reading, learning to read straight down the middle of the page, and I was able to go through War and Peace in 20 minutes. It’s about Russia”

Woody Allen

Attributed to Allen by Herb Caen in Reader's Digest, October 1967. For additional citations see this entry from Quote Investigator http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/12/08/speed-reading/.

War , Peace , Learning , Reading

“What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!”

Woody Allen

Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)

“[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.”

Woody Allen

September (1987).

Universe

“I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.”

Woody Allen

Standup Comic (1999)

People , Beauty , Sex , Feeling

“We're worth a lot of dough. Whatever you see is antiques. This thing here. This is from — I don't remember exactly. I think it's the Renaissance or the Magna Carta or something. But that's where it's from.”

Woody Allen

Small Time Crooks (2001).

Thinking

“It figures you’ve got to hate yourself if you’ve got any integrity at all.”

Woody Allen

Quoted by Douglas Brode in Woody Allen – His Films and Career (1985).

Hate

“A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight.”

Woody Allen

Standup Comic (1999)

Life

“I'm not really the heroic type. I was beat up by Quakers.”

Woody Allen

Sleeper (1973)

“What a wonderful thing, to be conscious! I wonder what the people in New Jersey do.”

Woody Allen Without Feathers

"No Kaddish for Weinstein".
Without Feathers (1975)

People

“It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

Woody Allen Without Feathers

" Death (A Play) http://books.google.com/books?id=qjRaAAAAMAAJ&q=%22It's+not+that+I'm+afraid+to+die+I+just+don't+want+to+be+there+when+it+happens%22&pg=PA99#v=onepage".
Without Feathers (1975)

Funny

“You start to think, when you’re younger, how important everything is and how things have to go right—your job, your career, your life, your choices, and all of that. Then, after a while, you start to realise that – I’m talking the big picture here – eventually you die, and eventually the sun burns out and the earth is gone, and eventually all the stars and all the planets in the entire universe go, disappear, and nothing is left at all. Nothing – Shakespeare and Beethoven and Michelangelo gone. And you think to yourself that there’s a lot of noise and sound and fury – and where’s it going? It’s not going any place… Now, you can’t actually live your life like that, because if you do you just sit there and – why do anything? Why get up in the morning and do anything? So I think it’s the job of the artist to try and figure out why, given this terrible fact, you want to go on living.”

Woody Allen

Interview with France 24 (2010) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MsuqvLIttk.

Life , Star , Thinking , Universe

“Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!”

Woody Allen

What's New, Pussycat? (1965).

Life , Marriage

“How could I not have known that there are little things the size of "Planck length" in the universe, which are a millionth of a billionth of a billionth of a centimeter? Imagine if you dropped one in a dark theater how hard it would be to find.”

Woody Allen book Mere Anarchy

Mere Anarchy (2007)