TotalBiscuit Quotes (60 quotes) | Quotes of famous people

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Famous TotalBiscuit Quotes

“…Yeah, and that was just the damn start of it, because Ubisoft simply cannot shut UP!”

TotalBiscuit

The Content Patch, Episode 183 - Ubisoft's "double bill of delusion"

“So far, the game has done a really good job of not throwing a lot of jumpscares at me, and that worries me even more. [goes to open door] If you blow your load too quickly with jumpscares—"
[TB opens door. Cue jumpscare. ]
"AHHHHH! Jesus Christ. F**k! I hate you so much right now! God-dammit! Anyway!”

TotalBiscuit

TotalBiscuit Quotes about the game

“"Can I… WHAT?! Whaaaaat?! I hit him five times—three times in the back and he doesn't even know that I'm here!" [laughs] "Why is this game?! I'm not even gonna ask what is this game!"”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“[about Phil Fish leaving the game industry] "My first reaction, when thinking about covering this, was just to finish by saying, 'NNNope!' and go straight onto the next segment."”

TotalBiscuit

The Content Patch, Episode 122

“Critique exists to protect consumers from unscrupulous companies, and is a necessary part of our society. Wild Games Studio disagrees.”

TotalBiscuit

Other videos, This video is no longer available: The Day One[:<nowiki>]</nowiki> Garry's Incident Incident

“This is a full release…! This is a full release! It is not Early Access! This is not a beta, guys! Seriously, I am not lying to you! And this is after about three patches! This game is a f**king disaster!”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“This is a developer who has repeatedly acted in an underhanded way, and continues to do so to this very day. A developer that not only cannot take criticism, but actively goes out to censor it with the sole purpose of selling as many copies of their wretched disaster of a game as possible.”

TotalBiscuit

Other videos, This video is no longer available: The Day One[:<nowiki>]</nowiki> Garry's Incident Incident
Context: I think you can see this is not an innocent developer being attacked and abused by some YouTuber out to profiteer from their hard work. This is a developer who has repeatedly acted in an underhanded way, and continues to do so to this very day. A developer that not only cannot take criticism, but actively goes out to censor it with the sole purpose of selling as many copies of their wretched disaster of a game as possible.

“[groan] "I—It is—What is it with this year and awful video games?! We've had Ride to Hell: Retribution, and we've had this, and I don't know which is worse."”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

TotalBiscuit Quotes about hell

“"Oh, goddamn! What the hell?!" [opens fire, then laughs] "Suppressing fire!"”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Insurgency (standalone) (January 29, 2014)

“"Oh, fair maiden… If only I could fix the voids that exist in your fair…visage… Ugh!" [laughs incredulously] "That's one hell of a makeup accident."”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014)

“I now present to you the fairest maiden—what the hell is wrong with your face?”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014)

“"What?! Where the hell did that come from?!" … "Behold! The worst textured panther in the history of video games!"”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“What the hell killed me?! I had half health! Why did I just immediately die?! I don't understand what's happening!”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“Oh look, everybody instantly died again! What the hell was that? What killed me?”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

TotalBiscuit: Trending quotes

“We protected our copyright because TotalBiscuit has no right to make advertising revenues with our license.' Stephane Woods is lying, and here's why.”

TotalBiscuit

Other videos, This video is no longer available: The Day One[:<nowiki>]</nowiki> Garry's Incident Incident

Lying

“Critique makes this industry better. But it's under attack.”

TotalBiscuit

Other videos, This video is no longer available: The Day One[:<nowiki>]</nowiki> Garry's Incident Incident
Context: Critique makes this industry better. But it's under attack. YouTube's policies allow for flagrant abuse of the copyright system to censor review and critique, and it has to stop.

“Oh no—I can clip through the rock, too. You are f**king kidding me.”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014), Research stream

TotalBiscuit Quotes

“Yes! It is—n-no! Nooo! NOOOOO! Why would you have that happen?! That was a win! Ahhhhhhhh!”

TotalBiscuit

Hearthstone series, Too Many Traps 2 (April 25, 2014)

“Okay, so tiny…Build's… Waaait a second…”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, No Time to Explain

“Don't even tell me about the map. Don't even. Where's the keyhole?”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014), Research stream

“[watching a character's ridiculous idle animation] "Who—? Nobody—Nobody does that!"”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014)

Animals

“What do you think you're doing?! Helps to have a map!' Also, 'Can you find the missing parts of my face?”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014), Research stream

Thinking , Help , Parting

“…Why am I even whispering? It's not like they're actually gonna hear me.”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Insurgency (standalone) (January 29, 2014)

“[demonstrating the pickpocket mechanic] "I kid you not. That's actually Garry's Incident level of terrible."”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014)

“So to break down what they're saying there, they claim that they have run out of time and money.”

TotalBiscuit

The Content Patch, Episode 182 - Double Fine & Spacebase DF-9 under fire

Money , Time

“I think we may have found 2014's Garry's Incident. Ho-lee sh*t.”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014), Research stream

Thinking

“[to a teammate, who just shot at him] "I[t]—Don't shoot me!" [chuckles] "What's wrong with you?"”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Insurgency (standalone) (January 29, 2014)

“…So really, it's just y—" [enemy player kills him] "—oh, dammit!—you, your gun, and your friends.”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Insurgency (standalone) (January 29, 2014)

“The last part of that statement is the only thing that's true.”

TotalBiscuit

The Content Patch, Episode 183 - Ubisoft's "double bill of delusion"

Parting

“It's an Avenge?! Ahhhh! Oh, no! …I was bamboozled!”

TotalBiscuit

Hearthstone series, Randuin 2 Electric Boogaloo (January 13, 2015)

“Stephane replied within 24 hours and gave us a review code. These are the facts. It's unthinkable that Stephane could possibly believe that we had no intention of monetizing the content.”

TotalBiscuit

Other videos, This video is no longer available: The Day One[:<nowiki>]</nowiki> Garry's Incident Incident

“This monkey is running backwards and forwards! This tribesman right here—" [starts swinging his machete in an attempt to get the tribesman's attention] "Hi.”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“So. What's missing? Well, there's no crosshairs.”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Insurgency (standalone) (January 29, 2014)

“"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is TotalBiscuit. I'm here to ask and answer one simple question: W-T-F is Day One: Garry's Incident?" [Beat] "Garry with two R's, so you know he's serious."”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

Question

“What?! Now he realizes?! Oh—screw everything about this! I'm sorry; I can't take another minute of this dreadful thing!”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“If I haven't made my point clear, let me just spell it out: don't.”

TotalBiscuit

This is absolutely awful."
Audio blogs, Worms World Party Remastered b******s

“It is a wasted concept [by] a studio that evidently does not have the talent necessary to create something of this complexity, and my god did they screw it up! This is this year's Revelations 2012! And more to the point—it's even got a Revelations 2012 armgun! It's—[beat]—god…! It is…just…horrendously bad!”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

God

“Are you ready for the jumpscare? …No, you're not.”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014)

“"We will not join enemy server." [catches himself] "'Enemy server', what? Let's try that again—empty server. I do want enemies."”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Insurgency (standalone) (January 29, 2014)

“Behold! The Floating Aborigine Tribesman thingy! And his”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“You better save regularly if you intend to play this, 'cause you will just…die. From anything! At random! With no prior warning!”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“…I am a stupid, stupid man. I am a very, very dumb person. I…" [laughs in self-deprication] "He has an Auchenai Soulpriest! Why would you do that?! What is wrong with you?!”

TotalBiscuit

Hearthstone series, Randuin 2 Electric Boogaloo (January 13, 2015)

Stupidity , Personality

“So, if all you do with WTF Is…? is to figure out whether or not a game is worth buying, you can just stop watching right now. It isn't. You should avoid it like the plague, because it is absolutely terrible. If you're curious as to why, however…" [chuckles] "Oh, I will show you.”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Guise of the Wolf (January 26, 2014)

Game

“Should've played the bloody Sky Golem. And now he's got my other one. Give it BACK!”

TotalBiscuit

Hearthstone series, Randuin 2 Electric Boogaloo (January 13, 2015)

“That shows an obscene! lack of foresight!”

TotalBiscuit

Audio blogs, Worms World Party Remastered b******s

“"Let me guess: if I stand up, he's gonna see me immediately?" [stands up; tribesman attacks him] "Of course."”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“"Maybe it has quick save?" [Silence. ] "…No. Of—Of course, that would be asking too much."”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

Silence

“I'm pretty sure that macaw is also…up to no good…”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, Day One: Garry's Incident (October 1, 2013)

“We as consumers have the ability to stop this bullshit for good. And we're the only ones who can do that. Publishers aren't gonna do it. Devs aren't gonna do it. It's up to you: will you be part of that solution? Will you help fix this? Or will you continue to be part of the problem? I guess that's up to you.”

TotalBiscuit

Other videos, Should you preorder video games?

Problem , Help , Parting

“Ubisoft, I just want to like your games. Why won't you let me!”

TotalBiscuit

The Content Patch, Episode 183 - Ubisoft's "double bill of delusion"

Game

“I'd love to show you Wormnet, but I'm not gonna risk it, because Wormnet shows your IP address!”

TotalBiscuit

Audio blogs, Worms World Party Remastered b******s

Love

“What the 'ell just happened?!”

TotalBiscuit

WTF Is…? series, No Time to Explain

“TotalBiscuit: Bullsh*t! TotalBullsh*t!”

TotalBiscuit

Other videos, WTF Research Stream for Nidhogg (feat. Genna Bain)

“TotalBiscuit: Now I will be eaten by a giant snake!”

TotalBiscuit

gets eaten by a giant snake
'Genna: No—What?! Okay, wait a minute—that's what you get for winning?!
TotalBiscuit: Yes, you are eaten by Nidhogg, the giant snake.
Genna: What kind of dumb game is this?!
TotalBiscuit: Well, it's the one where you are eaten by Nidhogg, the giant snake.
Other videos, WTF Research Stream for Nidhogg (feat. Genna Bain)

“We protected our copyright because TotalBiscuit has no right to make advertising revenues with our license.”

TotalBiscuit

Stephane Woods is lying, and here's why."
Other videos, This video is no longer available: The Day One[:<nowiki>]</nowiki> Garry's Incident Incident

Making love

“We will not join enemy server.”

TotalBiscuit

[catches himself] "'Enemy server', what? Let's try that again—empty server. I do want enemies."
WTF Is…? series, Insurgency (standalone) (January 29, 2014)