Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 34)

“Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them”

“The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.”

“What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.
Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.”

“Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.”

“I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'
If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?”

“Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk.”

“She was also, by the standards of other people, lost. She would not see it like that. She knew where she was, it was just that everywhere else didn't.”

“There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were… what was the word… deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.”

“Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained.”

“Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.”

“No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.”

“A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.”

“People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.”

“This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.”

“Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.”

“Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs.”

“The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.”

“When in doubt, choose to live.”

“He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.”