Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 29)

“A weapon you held and didn't know how to use belonged to your enemy.”

“I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat.
-Lord Vetinari”

“The turtle moves.”

“We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork.”

“Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.”

“There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write.”

“The phrase 'Someone ought to do something' was not, by itself, a helpful one. People who used itadded the rider 'and that someone is me'.”

“An Assassin, a real Assassin, had to look like one - black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in a small room with a loaded crossbow pointed at the door?”

“THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.”

“Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!”

“It was quite impossible to describe.

Here is what it looked like.

It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tasted yellow, and it felt Paisley. It smelled like the total eclipse of the moon.”

“Listen, Peaches, is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.”

“Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a
red flag to a bu… was like putting something very annoying in front of
someone who was annoyed by it.”

“People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.”

“Heaven has no taste."
"Now-"
"And not one single sushi restaurant."
A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.”

“Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.”

“Bursar?"
"Yes, Archchancellor?"
"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"
"Me? No, Archchancellor."
"Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.”

“Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.”

“She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.”