Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes (page 23)

“The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.”

“And what had he wanted? He'd never sat down to think about it. But mostly, he wanted yesterday to be different from today.”

“Ah," said Mr Pin. "Right. I remember. You are concerned citizens." He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.”

“That's one form of magic, of course."
"What, just knowing things?"
"Knowing things that other people don't know.”

“Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company, but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them.”

“… the food was good solid stuff for a cold morning, all calories and fat and protein and maybe a vitamin crying softly because it was all alone.”

“When you look into the abyss, it’s not supposed to wave back.”

“The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to.”

“She was convinced that she was anorexic, because every time she looked in the mirror she did indeed see a fat person.”

“I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places.”

“Granny sighed. "You have learned something," she said, and thought it safe to insert a touch of sternness into her voice. "They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.”

“It was like being in a Jane Austen novel, but one with far less clothing.”

“I’ve seen excitement, and I’ve seen boredom. And boredom was best.”

“There’s no point in believing in things that exist.”

“Strength enough to build a home,
Time enough to hold a child,
Love enough to break a heart”

“If you don't know when to be a human being, you don't know when to be a witch.”

“Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it…”

“OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A. M. FOR?”

“Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.”