Terry Pratchett: Trending quotes

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Terry Pratchett: 1592 quotes906 likes

“WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN?

The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. SQUEAK, he said.

Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.”

Terry Pratchett book The Truth

Source: The Truth

“but what should we do when the highborn and wealthy take to crime? Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man who breaks the law out of greed?”

Terry Pratchett book Snuff

Source: Snuff

“I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.”

Terry Pratchett book Wyrd Sisters

Source: Wyrd Sisters

“Do you know how wizards like to be buried?"
"Yes!"
"Well, how?"
Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs.
"Reluctantly.”

Terry Pratchett book Equal Rites

Source: Equal Rites

“Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.”

Terry Pratchett book The Last Continent

Source: The Last Continent

“Even in a dream, even at a posh ball, the Nac Mac Feegle knew how to behave. You charged in madly, and you screamed… politely. pommes frites”

Terry Pratchett book The Wee Free Men

Source: The Wee Free Men

“Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?”

Terry Pratchett book Witches Abroad

Source: Witches Abroad

“It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.”

Terry Pratchett book Hogfather

Source: Hogfather

“You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.”

Terry Pratchett book Monstrous Regiment

Source: Monstrous Regiment

“Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛɪᴄᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ.

—Death”

Terry Pratchett book Mort

Source: Mort

“If he'd been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, "That's what I call sorted!" Since he wasn't a hero, he threw up.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“Every step is a first step if it's a step in the right direction.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.”

Terry Pratchett book Going Postal

Source: Going Postal

“If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.”

Terry Pratchett book Unseen Academicals

Source: Unseen Academicals

“You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?”

Terry Pratchett

Source: Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant.
You mean the sledgehammer, sir?
Yes.”

Terry Pratchett

“One day all of us will die but - and this is the important thing - we are not dead yet.”

Terry Pratchett book I Shall Wear Midnight

Source: I Shall Wear Midnight

“The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well.”

Terry Pratchett book Sourcery

Source: Sourcery

“Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor and shouting 'All Gods are bastards.”

Terry Pratchett

Variant: If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!
Source: The Color of Magic

“Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"
"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.”

Terry Pratchett book Jingo

Source: Jingo