Teal Swan: Other (page 2)

“The happiest relationships are relationships where people are compatible in terms of the type of support they need and the type of support the other person intrinsically loves to give.”

“The disaster of one person’s relationship paradigm being based in compromise and the other person's relationship paradigm being based in compatibility, can be seen in conflicts taking place across every kind of relationship.”

“The only way to cope with other people's disconnection (because it is so painful) is to become disconnected yourself. But then you become part of the problem. You make the world more dangerous and less conducive to the wellbeing of all life on earth.”

“The less we depend on each other, the less connected we become.”

“Open the flood gates and expose the truth of who you are, and all that will be left is people who accept it. All others will flee, you will be left with only those that are allies.”

“So many people are living from strategy instead of from authenticity. So many people are being strategic instead of honest; both with themselves and with others.”

“When we live in a society where people genuinely feel that what matters most is the romantic partnership, we have learned that other people will value and prioritize a romantic partner above all other relationships. Therefore, you are only genuinely secure and only have leverage for getting your needs met in a relationship, if you are that person’s romantic partner.”

“Just like water and air, connection with others is a basic human need.”

“If we see a romantic partnership as the only relationship that promises to meet our needs, we will put all the pressure on that other person to be the one to meet all of our needs, which is impossible. No one person can meet all of our needs. So, it is a set up for disappointment and for pain.”

“If we see a romantic partnership as the only relationship that promises to meet our needs, the only one that will make us happy, the only one in which we can feel secure and establish a sense of guarantee, we will fail to recognize and we will devalue all of the other forms of relationships around us; as well as the plentitude of resources that each one offers us.”

“One of the biggest barriers to people getting their needs met in the modern world is that so many people glorify the romantic partnership while devaluing every other type of relationship.”

“To build a secure relationship, caretake the insecurity and unsafety of the other person in the relationship. And recognize when you feel insecure or unsafe in your relationship so that you can very quickly initiate re-establishing security and safety with the other person.”

“The most common reason that relationships fall apart is because of safety. On a subconscious level, even though our relationships grant us a sense of safety, if we perceive that something about a relationship makes us unsafe, we care more about our own safety than we care about the other person’s experience and we care more about our own safety than we care about the health of the relationship itself.”

“If you do not keep your word, you will have demonstrated that you do not hold yourself to standards of conduct. You will have demonstrated that you care more about your own personal happiness and whims than you do about the pain of others. You will have demonstrated that you do not value your relationships and even that you do not value the people you are in a relationship with. You will have demonstrated yourself to be a person who lacks Integrity and honor. You will have demonstrated that you cannot be relied upon and that you cannot be trusted. You will be seen as an unsafe person. You will ruin the way that other people will see you, most especially you will lose their respect. And on the road to this ultimate loss, you will have created non-stop conflict in all of your relationships.”