Scott Adams: Trending quotes

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Scott Adams: 172 quotes4 likes

“The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.”

Source: Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“Biblical scholars tell us that this is the same meal that Jesus ate at the last supper. But hey, I’m sure you have a good reason for ordering something else.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Jambalaya", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“The biggest issue in this election is something called flip-flopping, and all candidates are accused of doing it. A strong leader is expected to maintain steadfast resolve in his opinion even if the environment changes or he gets new information. In any other context, that would be considered the first sign of a brain tumor. When presidents do it, it's called leadership, and frankly, we can't get enough of it.”

Scott Adams

DNRC Newsletter #57, 2004-10-28 http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter57.html,

“We know the goats are imported because they don’t speak English.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Goat Cheese with Caramelized Pear Dip", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.”

Scott Adams

DNRC Newsletter #58, 2004-11-11 http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter58.html,

“The part that interests me is that society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable. In other words, men are born as round pegs in a society full of square holes. Whose fault is that? Do you blame the baby who didn't ask to be born male? Or do you blame the society that brought him into the world, all round-pegged and turgid, and said, "Here's your square hole"?The way society is organized at the moment, we have no choice but to blame men for bad behavior. If we allowed men to act like unrestrained horny animals, all hell would break loose. All I'm saying is that society has evolved to keep males in a state of continuous unfulfilled urges, more commonly known as unhappiness.”

Scott Adams

"Pegs and Holes", 2011-06-15, Scott Adams Blog, 2012-12-03 https://www.scottadamssays.com/2011/06/15/pegs-and-holes/,, quoted in * 2011-06-20 Dilbert Creator Scott Adams Says Rape Is A ‘Natural Instinct’ For Men Huffington Post https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dilbert-creator-scott-adams-on-rape_n_880590

“I think New Yorkers are more provocative in every way.”

Scott Adams

[Scott Adams talks to Naval Ravikant, YouTube, 8 May 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu4RkmUIfR4] (55:42 of 56:02)

“There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens.”

Scott Adams

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002)

“This sandwich used to include endive, but no one wanted to eat a BELT.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Apple-wood Smoked BLT", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“If you don’t believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Grilled Salmon", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“If you think it’s easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you’ve probably never tried.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Spicy Fried Calamari", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“Stacey puts a little love in each pasta shell. But it’s self-love, so it won’t help you that much.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Stacey’s Favorite Baked Shells & Cheese", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.”

Scott Adams

Source: Dilbert Blog, Quotes, 2007-02-26, http://web.archive.org/20070228095118/dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/02/quotes.html, 2007-02-28 http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/02/quotes.html,

“We smoke the bacon so you don’t have to.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Free Range California Chicken", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“Our scallops are so delicious your mouth will thank you, which is creepy because your mouth can actually talk.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Sea Scallop", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“You might think the word “homemade” is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don’t realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that’s why.”

Scott Adams

Restaurant menus Source: "Menus: Stacey’s Homemade Soup Of The Day", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Atttributed to Adams by "About Us", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/about-us.php,

“They say that dogs lick their own genitalia because they can. But I think it's at least partially because they don't have the Internet.”

Scott Adams

Dilbert blog, My day as a Neanderthal, 2006-10-25, http://web.archive.org/20061107115218/dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/my_day_as_a_nea.html, 2006-11-07 http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/my_day_as_a_nea.html,

“We use only the finest days of the week in this dish.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Risotto of the Day", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“If you have questions about this salad, give your server the spinach inquisition.”

Scott Adams

"Menus: Spinach Salad with Pacific Fish Cakes", Stacey's at Waterford, 2008-01-14 http://www.eatatstaceys.com/staceys-waterford/menus-lunch.php, Restaurant menus

“I am saying: I see a flame thrower. I think the flame thrower guy wins in the stick fight.”

Scott Adams

[Monticello, Justin; Manning, Alex; & Weissmueller, Zach, Dilbert Creator Scott Adams on Donald Trump's "Linguistic Kill Shots", reason.com, 6 October 2015, http://reason.com/reasontv/2015/10/06/donald-trump-is-a-master-wizard]