Rodney Dangerfield: Trending quotes (page 3)

“What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. ”

“I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. ”

“In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window. ”

“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. ”

“Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. ”

“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. ”

“Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself. ”

“It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass. ”

“My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. ”

“My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock. ”

“My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. ”

“My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. ”

“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”