“In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window. ”Rodney Dangerfield
“Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. ”Rodney Dangerfield
“Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself. ”Rodney Dangerfield
“It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass. ”Rodney Dangerfield
“My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. ”Rodney Dangerfield
“My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. ”Rodney Dangerfield
“My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. ”Rodney Dangerfield