Ogden Nash Quotes (125 quotes, page 2) | Quotes of famous people

“To lave in the wave,
Majestic and chilly,
Tomorrow I crave;
But today it is silly.
It is pleasant to look at the ocean;
Tomorrow, perhaps, I shall swim in it.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), Pretty Halcyon Days

“Belinda lived in a little white house,
With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse,
And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), The Tale of Custard the Dragon

Dogs , Housing

“Senator Smoot (Republican, Ut.)
Is planning a ban on smut.”

Ogden Nash

Smoot Smites Smut
Context: Senator Smoot (Republican, Ut.)
Is planning a ban on smut.
Oh rooti-ti-toot for Smoot of Ut.
And his reverend occiput.
Smite, Smoot, smite for Ut.,
Grit your molars and do your dut.,
Gird up your l__ns,
Smite h_p and th_gh,
We'll all be Kansas
By and by.

“Hark, hark! the lark
On windswept bark
Freezes against a sky of lead!
Now see him stop,
Take one small hop,
And suddenly keel over dead!”

Ogden Nash

The Lark

Dead

“Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.:
That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.”

Ogden Nash

"England Expects"
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)

“Any hound a porcupine nudges
Can't be blamed for harboring grudges.
I know one hound that laughed all winter
At a porcupine that sat on a splinter.”

Ogden Nash

"The Porcupine" http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-porcupine/

Winter

“Fear not the thunder, little one.
It's weather, simply weather;
It's friendly giants full of fun
Clapping their hands together.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), A Watched Example Never Boils

Fear , Weather

“Once in a night as black as pitch
Isabel met a wicked old witch.
the witch's face was cross and wrinkled,
The witch's gums with teeth were sprinkled.
Ho, ho, Isabel! the old witch crowed,
I'll turn you into an ugly toad!”

Ogden Nash

"Adventures of Isabel" http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/adventures-of-isabel/

Night

“Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?”

Ogden Nash

"Good-by, Old Year, You Oaf or Why Don't They Pay the Bonus?" in The Primrose Path (1935)

“Their joy needs another woe's to cushion it,
Say a puddle, and someone littler to push in it.
They observe with glee the ballistic results
Of ice cream with spoons for catapults,
And inform the assembly with tears and glares
That everyone's presents are better than theirs.
Oh, little women and little men,
Someday I hope to love you again,
But not till after the party's over,
So give me the key to the doghouse, Rover”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), Children's Party

Love , Women , Men , Hope

“Indoors or out, no one relaxes
In March, that month of wind and taxes,
The wind will presently disappear,
The taxes last us all the year.”

Ogden Nash

"Thar She Blows"
Versus (1949)

“Time is timelessness for you;
Calendars for the human;
What's a year, or thirty, to
Loveliness made woman?”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), A Lady Thinks She Is Thirty

Time

“How easy for those who do not bulge
To not overindulge!”

Ogden Nash

"A Necessary Dirge"
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)

“It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless,
And it consists not of "Stop me if you've heard this one," but of "I know you've heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I'm going to tell it to you again regardless…"”

Ogden Nash

Good Intentions (1942), So Does Everybody Else, Only Not So Much

“We love the kindly wind and hail,
The jolly thunderbolt,
We watch in glee the fairy trail
Of ampere, watt, and volt.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), A Watched Example Never Boils

Love

“The further through life I drift
The more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.”

Ogden Nash

"A Penny Saved Is Impossible"
Good Intentions (1942)

Life

“Whether elected or appointed
He considers himself the Lord's annointed,
And indeed the ointment lingers on him
So thick you can't get your fingers on him.”

Ogden Nash

"The Politician"
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)

“This poem has widely been credited to Nash as a poem with the title "Fleas", but is actually the work of Strickland Gillilan and was originally titled "Lines on the Antiquity of Microbes.”

Ogden Nash

It has been dated to at least 1927 http://www.fun-with-words.com/shortest_poem.html, as published in the Mt Rainier Nature News Notes (1 July 1927).
Misattributed

“The garden is a raging sea,
The hurricane is snarling;
Oh, happy you and happy me!
Isn't the lightning darling?”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), A Watched Example Never Boils

Rage , Sea , Happiness

“Behold the hippopotamus!
We laugh at how he looks to us,
And yet in moments dank and grim,
I wonder how we look to him.”

Ogden Nash

"The Hippopotamus" http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/848.html

“May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?
I wish to retire till the party's over.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), Children's Party

“Man is a victim of dope
In the incurable form of hope.”

Ogden Nash

"Good-by, Old Year, You Oaf or Why Don't They Pay the Bonus?" in The Primrose Path (1935).

Hope

“A wonderful bird is a pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week;
But I'm damned if I see how the helican.”

Ogden Nash

"The Pelican" (1910) by Dixon Lanier Merritt is another poem often misattributed to Nash.
Misattributed

Food , Bird

“The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you,
How do, Isabel, now I'll eat you!
Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry.
Isabel didn't scream or scurry.”

Ogden Nash

"Adventures of Isabel" http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/adventures-of-isabel/

“Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy,
You've had about seven hours' sleep since Friday,
No wonder you feel that lost sensation;
You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.”

Ogden Nash

"We'll All Feel Better By Wednesday"
Versus (1949)

Feeling , Sleep

“Oh, things are frequently what they seem,
And this is wisdom's crown:
Only the game fish swims upstream,
But the sensible fish swims down.”

Ogden Nash

"When You Say That, Smile", as quoted in Saturday Evening Post, 16 September 1933

Wisdom , Game , Fish

“Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), The Tale of Custard the Dragon

Rage

“Whales have calves,
Cats have kittens
Bears have Cubs,
Bats have bittens,
Swans have cygnets,
Seals have puppies,
But guppies just have little guppies.”

Ogden Nash

"The Guppy"
Versus (1949)

Cats

“Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."”

Ogden Nash

"The Purist"
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)

Love , Smile

“I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.”

Ogden Nash

Good Intentions (1942), Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing

People

“The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.”

Ogden Nash

"The Anatomy of Happiness"
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)

Happiness

“It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictators
all, and I recommend to you this moral:
In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel.”

Ogden Nash

"I Never Even Suggested It"
Many Long Years Ago (1945)

Life , Women

“Being a father
Is quite a bother,
But I like it, rather.”

Ogden Nash

"Soliloquy in Circles"
Versus (1949)

“I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or envious to-do;
And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.”

Ogden Nash

Versus (1949), Possessions are Nine Points of Conversation

Thinking

“Leave the earth to the strong and athletic,
And the sea to adventure upon.
But the sun and the sand
No contractor can copy;
We lie in the land
Of the lotus and poppy;
We vegetate, calm and aesthetic,
On the beach, on the sand, in the sun.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), Pretty Halcyon Days

Lie , Strong , Sun , Sea

“Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.”

Ogden Nash

"A Clean Conscience Never Relaxes"
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)

“The turtle trapped 'twixt plated decks
Doth practically conceal its sex
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.”

Ogden Nash

"The Turtle"
Many Long Years Ago (1945)

Sex , Thinking

“Miranda in Miranda's sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), A Lady Thinks She Is Thirty

Night

“I've earned repose to heal the ravages
Of these angelic-looking savages.
Oh, progeny playing by itself
Is a lonely little elf,
But progeny in roistering batches
Would drive St. francis from here to Natchez.”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), Children's Party

Angels

“Passivity can be a provoking modus operandi;
Consider the Empire and Gandhi.”

Ogden Nash

"I Never Even Suggested It"
Many Long Years Ago (1945)

“Senator Smoot is an institute
Not to be bribed with pelf;
He guards our homes from erotic tomes
By reading them all himself.”

Ogden Nash

Smoot Smites Smut

Home , Reading

“Oh, Night will not see thirty again,
Yet soft her wing, Miranda;
Pick up your glass and tell me, then —
How old is Spring, Miranda?”

Ogden Nash

Many Long Years Ago (1945), A Lady Thinks She Is Thirty

Spring , Night

“And I also say Pooh for sweetness and light,
And if you want to get the most out of life, why the thing to do is to be a gossiper by day and gossipee by night.”

Ogden Nash

I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938), I Have It On Good Authority

Life , Light , Night

“It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,
That lays eggs under your skin.”

Ogden Nash

"Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man" (1959)

“The song of canaries
Never varies,
And when they're moulting
They're pretty revolting.”

Ogden Nash

"The Canary"
Free Wheeling (1931)

“I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.”

Ogden Nash

"Song of the Open Road" — this poem is a parody of "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer
Many Long Years Ago (1945)

Love , Thinking , Tree

“Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed
the floor.”

Ogden Nash

"You and Me and P. B. Shelley" http://books.google.com/books?id=zixbAAAAMAAJ&q=%22Life+is+not+having+been+told+that+the+man+has+just+waxed+the+floor%22&pg=PA5#v=onepage
Good Intentions (1942)

Life

“She took those pills from the pill concocter,
And Isabel calmly cured the doctor.”

Ogden Nash

"Adventures of Isabel" http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/adventures-of-isabel/