Maureen Johnson Quotes

“Oh my God!" said one of the Ambers. "Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow?"
She was a sharp one, this Amber. What would she notice next? The train? The moon? The hilarious vagaries of human existence? Her own head?”

“because talent alone doesn't make an artist”

“Stuart must have sensed my despair from the way I began lightly banging my forehead on the table.”

“Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison.
"It's both sad and incredibly impressive that you were all ready with that one.”

“Money is for doing things, my love. Don't sit on it like a hen sits on an egg. It doesn't hatch. I should know. I've made enough of it.”

“Even though she had been warned, she tripped over the bike. She probably tripped because she'd been warned and was telling herself not to trip over the bike. She did that sometimes. It was often easier not to know what obstacles were in the way.”

“There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.”

“It took a lot of women like that, a lot of women who said "I'm not going to do what you expect me to do, because you have no idea what I'm capable of. I'm going to get dirty and use tools and live the way I want" to move the world forward.”

“This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.”

“Fear can't hurt you," she said. "When it washes over you, give it no power. It's a snake with no venom. Remember that. That knowledge can save you.”

“I may have been a complete lunatic, but I was a complete lunatic with”

“One person's crazy is another person's sane, I guess.”

“You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.”

“And if we get caught, I will claim I made you go. At gunpoint. I am American. People will assume I'm armed.”

“Keep calm and carry on.
Also, stay in and hide because the Ripper is coming.”

“I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.”

“I'm Keith," he said, "and you're… clearly mad, but what's your name?”

“The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs.”

“Salt. Wound. Together at last.”

“Tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes.”

“Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbors Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.”

“There is nothing about a bad situation that fourteen hyper cheerleaders can't worsen.”

“The English play hockey in any weather. Thunder, lightening, plague of locusts… nothing can stop the hockey. Do not fight the hockey, for the hockey will win.”

“I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.”

“Tell me what you want, what you really, really want," he said.
"Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison.”

“It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil.”

“We study there a lot because… what other choice does society give us, right? It's Starbucks or death, sometimes.”

“I am a mass of contradictions.”

“Just then, my phone started ringing. The ring must have been damaged by the water as well, so now it had a high, keening note - kind of the sound I imagine a mermaid might make if you punched her in the face.”

“I like you because you were mad. And you're pretty. And pretty sane for a mad person.”

“Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.”

“WORTH IT and perfect are different things. No one’s perfect, yet in romance, everyone becomes WORTH IT. And that’s the trick.”

“Go see old virgins! Now ask a strange boy out, you shy, Retarded thing!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked.
It was a good question.”

“I can sleep like a champion. I once slept through a smoke alarm going off. For three hours.”

“Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.”

“The whole "weak in the knees" thing, which she always thought was just some idiotic expression back from the golden age of idiotic expressions, was real.
-Suite Scarlett”

“And what else is she?" Jerome asked. Jazza didn't offer any reply so I chimed in with, "A bitchweasel?"
"A bitchweasel!" Jazza's face lit up. "She's a bitchweasel! I love my new roommate.”

“It was like the entire world was colluding to make me feel insane, and it was doing a really good job.”

“It was clearly one of those mornings when I was particularly American.”

“Were you playing with Stuart?" she asked.
The question was loaded. I was a filthy, filthy woman, and even the five-year-old knew it.”

“Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.”

“Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be.”

“I guess life is full of maybes.”

“You could wear the same outfit every single day and no guy - who isn't gay - will notice.”

“Who runs a combination?" Keith asked. "With the cat shelter being the primary function? Only people who want to kill you with an axe and then put you in the garden and build a shed on you, that's who.”

“It could have been like a fairy tale. But fairy tales aren't real. Things don't work like that. There's a price for everything.”

“Sometimes artist like to catch themselves looking out, let the world see them for once. It's a signature. This one is a very bold one. But this is also a witnessing. We want to remember, and we want to be remembered. That's why we paint.”

“Proximity doesn't breed familiarity.”

“Why Paris? Paris needs no reason. Paris is its own reason.”

“We're going to die," Keith said, the moment he was gone. "This man is a serial killer. We're going to die, and he's going to bury us in his garden and build a shed on us.”

“Maybe this was what Aunt Peg meant all along - returning was a weird thing. You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe our what came before.”

“I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are famous for being led to slaughter, or sometimes hanging out with lions in ill-advised relationships.”

“Kissing is something that makes up for a lot of other crap you have to put up with… It can be confusing and weird and awkward, but sometimes it just makes you melt and forget everything that is going on.”

“Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland?” Keith asked… “you all think you’re Irish. What’s the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a lep­rechaun…”

“I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater."
"It would would be easier if you just said porn," Scarlett said.
"No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.”

“i miss you so much it's giving me a pain in my pancreas.”

“I had always assumed the weekend was a holy tradition, respected by good people everywhere. Not so at Wexford.”

“It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.”

“I'm the last of the mad ones.”