Mark Twain: Trending quotes

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Mark Twain: 1274 quotes808 likes

“It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.”

“Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.”

“I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.”

Source: The Diary of Adam and Eve

“When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.”

Source: Who Is Mark Twain?

“A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?”

Mark Twain book Pudd'nhead Wilson

Source: Pudd'nhead Wilson

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

“"Classic." A book which people praise and don't read.”

Mark Twain book Following the Equator

Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar, Ch. XXV
Following the Equator (1897)

“When a child turns 12, he should be kept in a barrel and fed through the bunghole, until he reaches 16 … at which time you plug the bunghole.”

Attributed to Twain but never sourced, this quotation should not be regarded as authentic.
Misattributed

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir… mighty scarce.”

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

Variant: Never let your schooling interfere with your education.

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”

“Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.”

Alternate (also Twain's): Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Source: Mark Twain's Notebook (1935), p. 393

“Each place has its own advantages - heaven for the climate, and hell for the society.”

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

“If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers. He has made a marvellous fight in the world, in all the ages; and has done it with his hands tied behind him. He could be vain of himself, and be excused for it. The Egyptian, the Babylonian, and the Persian rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away; the Greek and the Roman followed, and made a vast noise, and they are gone; other peoples have sprung up and held their torch high for a time, but it burned out, and they sit in twilight now, or have vanished. The Jew saw them all, beat them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmities of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind. All things are mortal but the Jew; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?”

Mark Twain book Concerning the Jews

Concerning the Jews (Harper's Magazine, Sept. 1899)