Maddox: Trending quotes (page 3)

Maddox trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Maddox: 138   quotes 1   like

“If you've ever wondered what someone who's horny enough to pay a bunch of adolescents $5000 in cash in exchange for some action looks like, take a good look at Ms. Walker's picture. Three words: battery operated dildo. Or if you happen to be a stickler for brevity like I am, just one word: cucumber. Because, damn.”

Maddox

How to spot a pedophile http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=spot_the_pedo.
The Best Page in the Universe

“When the iPhone was first announced, CEO Steve Jobs spewed enough BS to cover a football field full of babies 3 feet deep in bullshit, which sounds cool because he could have potentially murdered a football field full of babies, but he passed on this opportunity by introducing the phone instead.”

Maddox

The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone
The Best Page in the Universe

Football , Baby

“I'm impressed that they've been able to take a 2D character with a 1D personality and bloat it into a 3D disaster.”

Maddox

Garfield sucks http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=garfield_sucks
The Best Page in the Universe

Personality

“Imagine finding out you got rejected from community college, then finding out that your alcoholic father got arrested for domestic abuse, you lost all your life savings in a Ponzi scheme, and all of this happens to you while you're on the space shuttle Challenger. Then you wake up and it's all a bad dream, except you realize that you're at work without clothes on, and work is NASA and you're really on the space shuttle Challenger. That's what this movie is like, only infinitely worse. Everything about this movie pissed me off, save for the lesbian finger bang scene. Except even that sucked because it wasn't in the movie.”

Maddox

Quantum of Solace is a shitpile. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=quantum_of_phallus
The Best Page in the Universe

Life , Alcohol , Dreams , Imagination

“Let's face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Stupidity , World , Dance , Envy

“Okay, here's a tip: if you're doing something creepy like molesting children, you don't need to take topless photos of yourself to seal the deal. We know, the pedosmile is enough.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Children , Photo

“Having spelling errors is one thing, but c'mon. I've typed out more coherent sentences with my penis.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Error

“The next time you ask someone how their day is going, expect, no, DEMAND a response. Don't settle for good. Demand the truth. Make them admit that they're having a shitty day, and then do your best to make it worse.”

Maddox

I Hate Small Talk http://maddox.xmission.com/smalltalk.html
The Best Page in the Universe

Truth , Time

“I have a different stance on abortion: I'm against abortion, but for killing babies. That way everyone loses, and I win. I'm neither pro choice, nor pro life; I'm pro you-shutting-the-hell-up. The only way I'd be "pro choice" is if it meant I could choose which babies I could abort, and only then if I could lift the age restriction to 80."”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Life , Age , Way , Hell

“If you got caught screwing around on the job, you'd probably get fired, and so would I. Why should he get away with it?”

Maddox

on Bill Clinton
Grow a pair and impeach that horny bastard http://maddox.xmission.com/clinton.html
The Best Page in the Universe

“"4 example the other day i saw a black person walking down the street and i was like "omg a negro" but instead of walking on the other side i said "what would rumsfeld do?" so i stayed on the sidewalk. when he came up to me i wanted to show him that i have no problems with people of color so i said "hey" and offered him my spare change before he could even ask."”

Maddox

i love donald rumsfeld http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=af_racist
The Best Page in the Universe, April Fools

People , Color , Problem , Change

“When I say this game is hard, I mean hard like nipples-on-a-blind-lesbian-in-a-fish-market hard.”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Game , Fish

“Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like failing at failing.”

Maddox

How to kill yourself like a man. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide
The Best Page in the Universe

“I hate the help screen, I hate the options, I hate the card graphics, I hate the default window size, everything. I HATE SOLITAIRE.”

Maddox

I hate Solitaire http://maddox.xmission.com/solitaire.html.
The Best Page in the Universe

Hate , Help

“I've only had one dream in my life with kids in it that didn't involve me gnawing my feet off, and it had to do with kids doing my laundry.”

Maddox

9 things I learned about the world according to anonymous stock photo models. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=stock_photos
The Best Page in the Universe

Life , Dreams

“Note that the name of the show is 'Trippin' ' and not 'Tripping' because the addition of the letter 'g' would not be consistent with the views of MTV's urban youth demographic who tend to frown upon linguistic formalities such as proper enunciation. I mean, proper 'nunciation, yo!”

Maddox

The Best Page in the Universe

Youth

“There are pigs that can manipulate joysticks, yet you morons can't even send me an intelligible email.”

Maddox

Bullshit Fan Mail http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=ihatemail0.
The Best Page in the Universe

Intelligence

“Is someone you know anorexic? A good joke would be to tell them that they're fat. They'll laugh because anorexic people aren't fat. HAHAH”

Maddox

Pranks to try on people in the hospital! http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=jokes
The Best Page in the Universe

People

“If there were a building that stood for grammatical integrity, this email would be the plane that crashed into it.”

Maddox

Wireless internet may very well destroy our chances of contacting intelligent life http://maddox.xmission.com/aliens.html.
The Best Page in the Universe