Lewis Black: Quotes about thinking

Lewis Black is American stand-up comedian, author, playwright, social critic and actor. Explore interesting quotes on thinking.
Lewis Black: 116   quotes 0   likes

“You don't want to go to Miami. Everybody's always delighted with it--no! Listen! The temperature down there is always over ninety and the humidity--and here's the problem--is way over 100%, way. And you know how it's over 100% humidity? When you're walking down the street for five minutes thinking to yourself, "You know, I should have put deodorant on my balls."”

Lewis Black

That's over a hundred. Because that's not something you'd think of on your own.
The White Album (2000)

Way , Problem , Thinking

“Here's why I think there's something a little odd with George [Bush]. Because a lot of the times when he speaks, his words don't match his face. Something is askew. You can't talk about the war with a smile on your face. He does it constantly. If you're the President, you should go "We're going to talk about the war, I must have a frowny face." The only time you can smile when you're talking about the war in Iraq is when you go, "Well, two Iraqis walk into a bar, hahaha."”

Lewis Black

Red, White, and Screwed (2006)

War , Smile , Thinking , Time

“We always feel better in anticipation. You don't think about something and think "Aw, it's gonna be shitty." NO! You say "This is gonna be the greatest weekend ever! Sonuvabitch!" And then, by Monday, you're throwing up and you're thinking "You know, I always thought those guys were pricks!"”

Lewis Black

Anticipation (2008)

Guy , Feeling , Thinking

“I believe that the way in which we should truly live is we should think about what we're going to do, and then not do it. Your boss comes in on Monday and goes, "Hey! You're my go-to guy — I need a report by Friday." You go, "I'll get right on it, chief!" And then you head back to your desk and you put your feet up and you spend the week thinking about it. And then he comes in on Friday and goes, "Where's my report?" And you say, with a big grin on your face, "I didn't do it!" And he goes, "Why not?"”

Lewis Black

and then you say, "Because I didn't want to disappoint you!"
Anticipation (2008)

Disappointment , Way , Guy , Thinking

“There is no better moment than this moment, when we're anticipating the actual moment itself. All of the moments that lead up to the actual moment are truly the best moments. Those are the moments that are filled with good times. Those are the moments in which you are able to think that it is going to be perfect, when the moment actually happens. But, the moment is reality, and reality always kinda sucks!”

Lewis Black

Anticipation (2008)

Thinking , Reality , Time , Perfection

“The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.”

Lewis Black

Last Laugh ‘05 (2005)

Thinking , Learning

“The argument we have about abortion is not about abortion. It's about when life begins. And we argue it, and we argue, and we argue! And I say we take all the people who think they know and yell and scream and they're sure when life begins and they're sure when life ends, and we lock them in a room. And we tell them to figure it out. And they don't come out until they do. And if they can't, then we kill them.”

Lewis Black

Last Laugh ‘05 (2005)

Life , People , Thinking